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Voices - absurd, pragmatic, satirical or serious. Our columnists write about the world as they see it, and if they can't see, well, they type pieces about the dark.

Waiting With Nathan
Dan watches movies with actor Nathan Lane; their conversations drift like clouds; this is what they talk about.

11.18.2003 Sunday: Twins
11.12.2003 Saturday: Raging Bull
11.6.2003 Friday: Advice From the Balcony
10.29.2003 Wednesday and Thursday: Various Artists
10.15.2003 Tuesday: Pootie Tang
A hilarious window into Dan Haun's ridiculous worldview. (Now, 20% slimmer!) Articles about what is funny today, and what won't be tomorrow.

2.9.2004 Call Me Cupid
2.2.2004 Dear Dan Delerium
12.22.2003 Gift Card
12.8.2003 Abe and Anime
12.1.2003 Blank's Ultimate Toy Guide 2003

Cocktail Conspiracies
At parties, there's often someone present whom no one admits to inviting; she's interesting but strange, and after a few drinks she'll blab earnestly about a plot involving the Red Baron, Canadian bacon, and a spork. Sarah is queen of these "Cocktail Conspiracies" - but don't laugh in her face, lest you meet a G&T head-on.

3.23.2004 A Detective Story: Part Four
2.26.2004 A Detective Story: Part Three
2.5.2004 Detective Story Part Two
1.30.2004 A Derivative Detective Story: Part One
1.24.2004 Off the Wall
Adam's look at what you're doing, why you're doing it, and who's fault it is. Fresh eyes onto a world that's as absurd as it is unhappy.

11.3.2003 On moving.
10.2.2003 Battles
9.5.2003 You smell something?
8.29.2003 Manual labor
8.22.2003 Hurry up and hate me!

Tales From the Crypt
They are the confessions of a film junkie - the sordid, twisted Ash diaries. Sharp and cruel looks at every movie ever made.

6.12.2004 Ash Reloaded
4.22.2004 5 Fingers of Ash
8.13.2003 Faces of Ash
7.27.2003 The Rocky Files: Part Two
7.27.2003 The Rocky Files: Part One
Thumbs Up / Down
Four issues, four thumbs, one Forrest. A snarky look at politics + pop culture: some things get the thumbs-up, others get an extremely vigorous "boo!"

12.24.2002 Thumbs Up/Down
11.13.2002 Thumbs Up / Down
10.4.2002 Thumbs Up / Down
9.19.2002 Thumbs up / down
9.5.2002 Thumbs Up/Down

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