Dan Haun, future winner of the Pulitzer Prize for Just Being A Smartass, has written intermittently for several years, until approached by Sean and JP, who were able to convince Dan, after much groveling, to lend his considerable writing talent to Tangmonkey. Unfortunately, Tangmonkey immediately traded it for a crate of genetically engineered orange-flavored bananas, resulting in Dan writing the total crap that is the column "blank." Dan lives in the Southeast United States, settings of such movies as "Deliverance."