Probably the most average guy in America, Adam hasn't had much to talk about. After graduating high school in Columbus, Ohio, he then went to DeVry University for Software Engineering. Unfortunately, college outsmarted him and he's now living in a box underneith a bypass, pursuing a career in law enforcement. He owes Dan Haun a lifedebt for the time he saved Adam from a mob consisting of 3 rabid weasels, 24 albino pigeons, and Bob Dole. All of his column ideas come to him right after he gets settled into bed. It's really irritating.