|
 |
|
 |
||||||
 |
 THIS SUPERSEDES ALL OTHER NOTICES: Any resemblance between the following views and those of your building, your employer, your colleagues, or the view out your window are purely coincidental. Any resemblance between the below and your own views is non-deterministic. The question of the existence of views in the absence of anyone to hold them is left as an exercise for the reader. The question of the existence of the reader is left as an exercise for the second god coefficient. (A discussion of non-orthogonal, non-integral polytheism is beyond the scope of this article.) WARNING: This website warps space and time in its vicinity. WARNING: This website attracts every other piece of matter in the Universe, including the websites of other manufacturers, with a force proportional to the website of the masses and inversely proportional to the distance between them. CAUTION: The mass of this website contains the energy equivalent of 85 million tons of TNT per net ounce of weight. HEALTH WARNING: Care should be taken when lifting this website, since its mass, and thus its weight, is dependent on its velocity relative to the visitor. ADVISORY: There is an extremely small but nonzero chance that, through a process known as "tunneling," this website may spontaneously disappear from its present location and reappear at any random place in the universe, including your neighbor's domicile. The Tangmonkey Group will not be responsible for any damages or inconvenience that may result. COMPONENT EQUIVALENCY NOTICE: The subatomic particles (electrons, protons, etc.) comprising this website are exactly the same in every measurable respect as those used in the websites of other Media Empires, and no claim to the contrary may legitimately be expressed or implied. CONSUMER NOTICE: Because of the "Uncertainty Principle," it is impossible for the visitor to find out at the same time both precisely where this website is and how fast it is moving. WARNING: According to certain suggested versions of a grand unified theory, the primary particles constituting this website may decay to nothingness within the next four hundred million years. NOTE: The most fundamental particles in this website are held together by a "gluing" force about which little is currently known and whose adhesive power cannot therefore be permanently guaRANTeed. IMPORTANT NOTICE TO VISITORS: The entire physical universe, including this site, may one day collapse back into an infinitesimally small space. Should another universe subsequently re-emerge, the existence of this website in that universe cannot be guaRANTeed. PUBLIC NOTICE AS REQUIRED BY LAW: Any use of this website, in any manner whatsoever, will increase the amount of disorder in the universe. Although no liability is implied herein, the consumer is warned that this process will ultimately lead to the heat death of the universe. ATTENTION: Despite any other listing of website contents found herein, the consumer is advised that, in actuality, this website consists of 99.999999999999% empty space. This website does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either the Tangmonkey Group, TANGMONKEY.COM, its friends, or its letterhead; don't quote the Group on that; don't quote the Group on anything; all rights reserved; you may distribute this URL freely but you may not make a profit from it; terms are subject to change without notice; illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this website is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; caveat emptor; website is provided "as is" without any warRANTies; reader assumes full responsibility; an equal opportunity website; no shoes, no shirt, no service; quantities are limited while supplies last; if any defects are discovered, do not attempt to read them yourself, but return to an authorized service center; read at your own risk; parental discretion advised, text may contain explicit materials some readers may find objectionable; keep away from sunlight; keep away from OJ; keep away from pets and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries not included; instructions are included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; slippery when wet; safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not read if safety seal is broken; call before you dig; not liable for damages arising from use or misuse; for external use only; if rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue reading; read only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames; avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes; do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near a flammable or magnetic source; smoking this website could be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a condom; no salt, MSG, artificial colour or flavouring added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a physician; website is ribbed for your pleasure; possible penalties for early withdrawal; offer valid only at participating sites; allow four to six weeks for delivery; must be 18 to read; disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes, ball lightning, and other Acts of God, neglect, damage from improper reading, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized reading, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectile (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB's, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.); other restrictions may apply. This website is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warRANTy expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colours may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem to be right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with the International Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your cancelled check is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to insure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flame. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No American coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs, or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. RestauRANT package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Decision of judges is final. | | |||||||
 |
|  | |||||||
 |
Warning: require(): http:// wrapper is disabled in the server configuration by allow_url_include=0 in /home/public/tangmonkey/includes/footer.php on line 1
Warning: require(http://www.tangmonkey.com/includes/ads.php): Failed to open stream: no suitable wrapper could be found in /home/public/tangmonkey/includes/footer.php on line 1
Fatal error: Uncaught Error: Failed opening required 'http://www.tangmonkey.com/includes/ads.php' (include_path='.:/usr/local/php/8.1.33-nfsn3/lib/:/usr/local/php/lib/') in /home/public/tangmonkey/includes/footer.php:1 Stack trace: #0 /home/public/tangmonkey/disclaimer.php(173): require() #1 {main} thrown in /home/public/tangmonkey/includes/footer.php on line 1