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Features Archive

Sunday, December 14, 2003
Waiting With Nathan: one year

One of the strangest and most wonderful columns that Tangmonkey has ever hosted, Waiting With Nathan ran for one year, from October 30, 2002, to November 18, 2003. In these fifty-two episodes, Dan Beirne and actor Nathan Lane talked about film (from Raging Bull to Wayne's World), music (from Radiohead to the Silver Jews), hurt, love, and life. Hilarious, surreal, truthful and broken, these articles are best understood through immersion. Catch up on all the ones you missed, or read them in tandem, like a bleary-eyed late-night revelation.

Friday, November 14, 2003
Cocktail Conspiracies

Six weeks in, Tangmonkey's newest column continues to dish out its most peculiar pedagogy. Sarah Johnson and her conspiracy-prone drinking companion lace together lessons on eels and King Henry, James Bond and Communist plots, Elijah Wood and the Messianic Age. These ruminations do more than educate - weaving together the titillating and the absurd, the historical and the sublime, they're like spiked kicks to the funny-bone.

Sunday, July 27, 2003
Ash vs. the World, Part One: The Rocky Files

Ash, Tangmonkey's local misanthrope, stares into the depths of Hell and lives to tell the tale. Undergoing a self-inflicted torture so that you don't have to, the editor of Pulp and Tales from the Crypt watches all five Rocky films in less than a week. His story is grisly, twisted, and wry: this is a man who witnessed Rocky 1-5, and retained the ability to assemble sentences. Read with caution.

Sunday, July 27, 2003
The Rocky Files [Part Two]

Part two of Ash's descent into Hell.

Wednesday, June 25, 2003
Hail to the Thief in 50 Words

The newest offering from Radiohead touches down with fanfare, feedback, and a grandfatherclock bassline. It's an album of fierce images and frantic tunes, but the response has been mixed.

To help find some signal amid the noise - to dissect HTTT to its veins and sinews - we've invited an exemplary group of fifteen writers, critics, musicians and magicians to share their thoughts. Now Wil Wheaton, Dan Beirne, members of Okkervil River and The Unicorns, among many others, have done so - and each in exactly (exactly) fifty words.

Sunday, May 4, 2003
Let's talk about the Grateful Dead

It's difficult to think of a band of which we know so much and so little. Okay, so they were an acid-trippin' hippie jam band -- but what did they actually sound like? You might be surprised. We were.

Tangmonkey Music listened to the Grateful Dead canon, wrote reviews, and discussed the ups, downs, and swirly illegible cartoony LSD visions, in a Panel Discussion. Join us: you just might have an inner Deadhead clamouring to get out.

Thursday, March 20, 2003

"War may sometimes be a necessary evil. But no matter how necessary, it is always an evil, never a good. We will not learn to live together in peace by killing each other's children." — Jimmy Carter

"It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets." — Voltaire

"What war has always been is a puberty ceremony." — Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

Thursday, January 16, 2003
Tangmonkey Looks at 2002

Our writers wrote about 2002, and this is what they said. From music to film to books and The Lion King - we saw, uh, some of it.

Sunday, December 1, 2002
My Life as Nat

It's a repeat, I know, but for those of you who missed it the first two times, My Life as Nat has just been added to Old Stuff. It's the story of one writer's impersonation of Natalie Imbruglia - the highs, the lows, and the dozens of letters he sent to gullible and starstruck fans. It was successful, it was mischievous, and it was almost certainly illegal.

Monday, September 2, 2002
An Ice-Cream Interview

Last week's fabulous interview with Sean Dowling of Imperial Flavors. "The upside to the position is the volumes of ice cream that I eat in a month. The down side is the volumes of ice cream that I eat in a month."

Friday, August 2, 2002
Look Ma! We're newfangled!

Yup.A redesign. It's different, but not too different.This way, the smart kids benefit - and the simpler children can come along for the ride, too.

Wednesday, July 17, 2002
Blank - Close Shave

Dan Haun makes his second triumphant debut as Tangmonkey's latest hilarious columnist. Check out his new weekly column "Blank" today! You shan't be disappointed!

Thursday, June 20, 2002
Jay-C

"What the New Testament is to Christianity, Jesus Christ's sophomore album, simply titled Alpha'n'Omega, is to the Hip-Hop/Rock crossover scene..."

Friday, June 7, 2002
INK!

Making its debut this week along with Thumbs Up/Thumbs Down, Ink showcases visual art and other goodies. Neale is looking for your submissions, please email them to ink@tangmonkey.com and we'll make you famous!

Thursday, May 23, 2002
Lo, Twas the Web II

More ways to waste your time: links for the mad, the sane, and the slightly confused. (Yes, this is volume 2.)

Tuesday, April 16, 2002
Lo, Twas the Web

What? You mean the Internet's got worthwhile sites besides TANGMONKEY? A new semi-regular feature.

Monday, April 1, 2002
Quit Desisting!

Okay, we admit it, Kraft doesn't even know we exist. [More inside.]

Sunday, March 31, 2002
CEASE AND DESIST!

****monkey receives cease-and-desist order. Shutting down normal operations. More inside.

Tuesday, March 26, 2002
Pulp Issue 13 Now Online!

After a three month sabbatical Ash is back in action! Complete with post-Oscar predictions and evil, evil horror!

Monday, March 18, 2002
Labatt's Blue By You

Labatt now lets you to create a custom 24. Click the headline above to see some of the images they just wouldn't allow.

Thursday, February 21, 2002
Contribute to Tangmonkey!

Tangmonkey is always looking for funny, insightful or just plain odd contributions, check out the contribution page or send us your work and we'll make you famous!

Tuesday, February 12, 2002
Bjorn Again

Start reading Bjorn Lincoln and the Bane of Forever today! Tangmonkey's first collaborative serial novel is off to a roaring start, chapter 4 now online! New chapters published every weekend!

Thursday, January 24, 2002
2001: The Year in Music

Sean looks back at the year's highs and lows, from the Top Ten songs to the Top Ten albums.

Sunday, January 20, 2002
Write a Top Ten!

Opinionated? Trivia-obssessed? A fan of late-night TV? Submit your Top Ten today. Everything's game. Even checkers.

Sunday, January 13, 2002
We're Back and We're Sassy!

It's been some time coming, but here we are, loaded up with cheap tangdrinks and tang-eclairs, all ready to show you our new doodles and daddles.

Sunday, July 29, 2001
Buy the new Tangmonkey T-Shirts!

Hot off the presses come TM's new t-shirt designs. Now you can be as hip as you always dreamed - behold as your shakespeares skyrocket! Order today.

Saturday, July 28, 2001
My Life As Nat

A story of impersonation, Australian accents and betrayal. On the Internet, anyone can be a pop starlet.

Saturday, July 28, 2001
Sean's Dave Matthews Band Odyssey

A summary of one man's experiences corresponding with rabid and insane Dave Matthews Band fans.

 



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