TANGMONKEY.COM is to the Groovy, as Braille is to the Blind
 


















Asstiness






OLD STUFF

Since the winter of 2000, Tangmonkey has been spilling its furry guts onto the Web, and consequently, there's a whole lot of guts to be seen. This is TM's old-age home, residence of the lost, neglected, previously enjoyed and simply-out-of-date. Tread softly, lest you wake something up.

My Life As Nat is the account of one man's journey into the bowels of celebrity. Over several exciting months, the writer took on the role of Natalie Imbruglia - Australian pop starlet - corresponding with dozens of drooling, melancholy and vituperative fans. The story is real, the letters are real, but the words don't quite come from the real horse's mouth. "My music is part Frank Sinatra, part Bob Dylan, part Fiona Apple, and part Lord Ernest Rutherford."

Tangmonkey Records was for a time home to TANGMONKEY.COM's active imaginary record label. Learn about the artists we've signed - from the Saviour of Rock, Jay-C, to [critically acclaimed] Tooth or the General. The bands aren't real, the albums are entirely lies, but if you don't tell the RIAA, either will we.

Ball Lightning is a strange and wonderful section devoted to an obscure natural phenomenon. For unknown reasons, giant spheres of electrical energy are known to appear at random and melt peoples' faces off. We're serious. Contained herein are testimonials, doctored photographs, links, and heinously absurd historical treatises.

The Saurus is among Tangmonkey's oldest pages - it's a dictionary of wonderfully functional jargon, a lexicon of capital tangmonkey slang. No need to be monochrome, and very little that's piping hot, the Saurus is an excuse to remove the cast, and it'll lift your shakespeares at least a few notches.

Listed below are some of our old columns, no longer updated by their respective authors. Feel free to examine the archives, and should you wish to dive into some of our not-so-stale content, you can read the work of our current columnists in Comment, Music, Food, Pen & Ink and Print.

Blag
BLAG was JP's excursion into random demagoguery, a hodgepodge pot-pourri of a column that ranged from fascinating interviews to photo snapshots and stange, simple comics. He now edits Food.
 
General Irrelitivity
General Irrelativity was a brilliant series of pieces by Professor Particle, wherein he examined science from a none-too-serious perspective. From quarks to black holes, it's all here.

 
View Askew
View Askew shows the world from Zebulon's perspective - and although it doesn't always make sense, it's sure to amuse with its mixture of the unlikely, the fantastic and the twisted. In 2002, Zebulon changed his name to Dan Haun and started writing Blank.



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