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 GROVEL, YE INTERNET! HEAR US MAKE SQUEAKY MONKEY-NOISES!              
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The Saurus is TANGMONKEY.COM's official dictionary of terms. All language included herein is a necessity for any self-declared hep-cat or tangmonkey aficianado. After all, it's this little reference page that started it all. Scroll down, read, learn and prosper, my children.
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ASSING: To occupy or disrupt.
Eg: Stop assing up the couch; You're assing up the conversation.
BEAN, THE: God. The Supreme Deity, Ruler of the Universe.
Eg: "Thank The Bean!"
BETTER THAN SAK'S: Moderately engaging.
Eg: Swimming at the wave pool is better than Sak's.
CANCER PHONE: A cell phone.
Eg: "Pass me the cancer phone."
CAPITAL: Very; really; very much so; etc.
Eg: That's capital tangmonkey, man!
FIDDLABILITY: The quality of being able to be fiddled with.
Eg: "Boy! Pat's car has a very high fiddlability!" "HEY!"
FISH: Whatever; You know.
Eg: Yeah, so I was going to the... uh... fish.; "Want to go to McDonalds?" "Um.. Fish."
FRUSTRATION!: An exclamation used to express fustration.
Eg: "Why can't I get this to work? Frustration!"
GARGAMEL: The villain; The antagonist; The evil little man who asses up a situation.
Eg: "That leering waiter was very much the gargamel of that meal."
THE GENTLEMAN: The proprietor of an establishment.
Eg: I don't need to pay; I have an arrangement with the gentleman.
GNOMING: (Pronounced:guh-noaming; May be used as a noun.) Making a joke that sucks all life and humour out of the room. Akin to committing conversationicide.
Eg: "...and with broccoli, too!" (dead silence for 5 seconds) "Uh. Sorry, that was a gnome."
HOOSH: Expression that denotes a laissez aller , hakuna matata attitude. When "hoosh" is spoken, all worries, concerns and anxieties are dismissed. It's all right, man. Everything's okay now.
Eg: "If you do not withdraw your forces, I will declare war on thee!" "Hoosh!"
HUBBING: Acting as the main focal point for the organization of an evening out. The "hub" is the one who conducts the relevant phone-calls and driving arrangements to ensure a successful excursion.
Eg: "Who's the hub?" "JP is hubbing. Call him."
HUMPING IT: Riding the middle seat in a car (where the hump is located).
Eg: "Ha ha, Heather - You're humping it to Morocco!"
JAMCRACKER: Crazy; Crazy person.
Eg: Selling your soul to the devil is capital jamcracker!
KNEE TO THE GROIN, Y'ALL!: An expletive denoting drunkenness and insanity, to be bellowed when inebriated.
Eg: "BRAAAaaAAaagh! I am capital drunk! KNEE TO THE GROIN, Y'ALL!!!"
MONKNIGHT: The day after tomorrow.
Eg: I'll see you monknight.
MONOCHROME: The opposite of tangmonkey.
Eg: Getting stuck with the bill is capital monochrome.
MONTREAL: A silly, early-morning conversation.
Eg: We were up all night having a montreal.
NOT THE POPE: Not that great..
Eg: "So how was dinner?" "Let's just say that it was capital not the Pope."
PETERING: (Also: TO PULL A PETER) To leave without telling anyone.
Eg: "Where's Peter?" "Oh, he must have petered."
THE PHIL: The silliest-looking member of a band.
Eg: In The Beatles, Ringo is the Phil.
The really excellent alternative band: BAR. The Phil is clearly identified.
PIPING HOT: Adjective used to express dissatisfaction with a joke; ie, that a joke is bad.
Eg: "'Then Tiger Woods said 'I'd like some 'tee'." "That was more than a little bit piping hot, JP." "Sorry." "Yeah, you better be. Guh."
POLKAROO'D: To have recently left.
Eg: "Where's Frank?" "Oh, he polkaroo'd."
POP'N'DROP: To make as if to stand, while still stooping/maintaining chair contact.
Eg: "That's it, I'm going to kill you! Heh! Heh heh! ...Yeah."
Step 1: Subject is sitting. Step 2: Subject rises, as if to go. He does not entirely leave chair. Step 3: Subject sits back down.
PUMPY G, X: An expression of hardcore, "ghetto" solidarity; To be uttered when chillin' wid' one's homeys.
Eg: "Yo; Pumpy G... X!"
QUE DO?: What's doing? An expression derived from French and Spanish.
Eg: "Hey there guys; Que do?"
REMOVE THE CAST: Exclamation (with accompanying gesture) used to express delight and/or appreciation. A 21st Century equivalent of the now obsolete "raise the roof".
Eg: "Next on the Keenan Ivory Wayans show - Busta Rhymes!" "Remove the cast!"
A RICK THE TEMP: An empty fantasy that will never come true; a pipe dream.
Eg: "One day I'll marry Rick the Temp!" "That is SUCH a Rick the Temp."
SEZPAT: Used to show previous statement was false.
Eg: "I'm the sexiest man alive." "Sezpat"
SHAKESPEARE: A unit of sexiness. Assigned arbitrarily.
Eg: "Ooh! You're wearing a hawaiian shirt. You get ten million shakespeare's for that.
SIB: A stupid word.
Eg: Tomonkow is a sib.
SMACK ATTACK: 1. To attack someone by slapping lightly. 2. To O.D. on smack or smooch.
Eg: "Gnuh... gnuh..." "Oh my god! Smack attack!"
SMOOCH: A generic, fictional drug that causes insanity and hallucinations. May be smoked, snorted, or anything else you like. Note that using drugs is bad, thus being "on smooch" is a criticism rather than praise.
Eg: "You've been smokin' too much smooch."
SRQ (Sarcasm Recognition Quotient): The scientific measure of a person's ability to recognize sarcasm. Those individuals with a high SRQ know when others are being sarcastic, whereas individuals with stunted sarcasm recognition (and a correspondingly abysmal SRQ) have no idea when sarcasm is being expressed.
Eg: Sudana has an extremely high SRQ - he is gifted. Pepper, on the other hand, has a terrible SRQ and requires flash-cards whenever sarcasm is used.
SUGAR: An uncomfortable silence.
Eg: ...(uncomfortable silence)... "Sugar." "Sweeet."
TANGMONKEY: Cool; Awesome; Great; Gnarly; Tubular.
Eg: The Saurus is tangmonkey!
THAT'S TERRIBLE: (Must be said while covering face with hands) An expression of profound distaste with something one finds hysterically funny.
Eg: "Let's eat some babies!" "That's terrible!"
TRADING A WAVE FOR A CURL: Wishing one was someone else/somewhere else.
Eg: "What a crappy tie!" "Yeah, I'm capital trading a wave for a curl right now."
Y2K: A greatly anticipated event/occurrence that ends with disappointment.
Eg: Star Wars: Episode 1 was capital Y2K.
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Josephine: Well well well, if it isn't Luigi. Que do?
Luigi: Besides monochrome work and monochrome school and trading a wave for Kevin Spacey's curl?
Josephine: Sounds like your life is capital not the pope.
Luigi: It's just that my boss is a complete gargamel.
Josephine: The gentleman ain't all he's cracked up to be?
Luigi: Fish.
Josephine: Didn't he offer you a raise a few weeks ago?
Luigi: Oh. Sure he did. Sezpat. Turned out to be a capital Y2K. Frustration! He came in and made a piping hot joke about Trojan getting some musicians together, and having a "rubber band". I had this Rick the Temp about yeah, getting a raise, so I laughed like anything and removed the cast, and then... well... fish, he promised me a raise, then didn't give me one.
Josephine: Ouch.
Luigi: Ah well. Hoosh.
(Silence)
Josephine: Sugar.
Luigi: Sweet...
Josephine: Did you hear about Horton and the smack attack?
Luigi: Did he smoke too much smooch?
Josephine: No no, but he said this joke, and it was a gnome, but some jamcracker with a low SRQ thought he was serious and cleaned his clock.
Luigi: How does he look?
Josephine: Let's just say that the guy explored the fiddlability of Horton's face, and Horton lost a few billion shakespeares.
Luigi: That's terrible!
Josephine: Oh well, I gotta go. Laetitia's picking me up. I'm gonna hump it to the Zaphod's?
Luigi: Anyone good playing?
Josephine: Probably just a band full of Phils.
Luigi: Hoosh! Oh well, see you monknight. (Josephine leaves.)
(Pria enters.)
Pria: Have you seen Luigi?
Josephine: He just polkaroo'd.
Pria: Oh. Fish.
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