Greetings one and all, to the brand new, revamped online version of your
favorite brand of toilet paper...PULP! Yes, things have changed quite a bit
since our last issue, the aptly titled END OF PULP, which hit the shelves
last June. Yeah, I know I said it would be the final issue, but I'm nothing
if not a liar, so here I am once again with a brand spankin' new
installment. Unfortunately, due to the fact that I moved cities, schools,
and social circles, I now have exactly no friends, and therefore no means to
get PULP printed on actual paper, and no one to read it even if it was.
Granted, this makes the title of our little rag somewhat nonsensical, but
I'm nothing if not partially insane, so the title stays even though we're
proceeding entirely electronically. If you're one of the lucky few receiving
this by email, or if you just stumbled onto this on some of the various
websites it's located at, please do your best to spread the word of our
resurrection, so maybe we have a chance or regaining all three of our former
fans. Or just keep your fat face shut, what do I care. I just write this
crap to blow off some steam ever since the judge told me animal cruelty
doesn't count as community service. There have been a few changes since last
time around, so be prepared. I'm going to be confining my articles to mostly
just horror movies and the like, with the occasional rant on the sad state
of a culture that's so desperate for cheap entertainment that shows like
Survivor break the bank while high quality edu-tainment like Jack of All
Trades goes belly up after only two seasons. Therefore, I'm actively seeking
submissions to cover any and all of the myriad other aspects that fit under
the broad heading of entertainment. Speaking of which, let's all give a
round of applause to Eeyore, who is returning to the fold with his own
unique brand of terminal grumpiness. Oh, and in case you didn't notice, this
was supposed to be a Halloween issue, but it wasn't even close to being
ready in time. So buckle up, friends and fans, cause it's gonna be a wild
ride, and I don't have my driver's license.
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