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Christmas 1999

In this issue:    Dogma   End of Days   Christmas Films   Ash's Christmas Picks   The Cat People   and   ASH2K.
CULT PICK: Cat People

Finally a movie that treats bestiality and incest with the seriousness and dignity it deserves. And by the way, remember when John Larroquette had a career? Me neither. Apparently it reached its zenith with that crappy TV show he had, where he was like the manager of a bus terminal or something. Now he probably sleeps in one. And before that, he did nothing but appear in crappy horror movies like this one, where he plays like a zoo official who just sort of vanishes from the script about halfway through. And who can forget his Oscar worthy performance as the slasher in Demon Knight, or as the narrator of Texas Chainsaw Massacre? And speaking of losers, the entire cast of this movie is a pantheon of has-beens and will-nots, from Nastassjia (Terminal Velocity) Kinski to Malcolm (A Clockwork Orange) McDowell. With special guest appearances by washed up nobodies John (CHUD) Heard and Annette (It) O’Toole, as well as rising star Ed Begley Jr, in a bravura performance reminiscent of his award winning work in Addams Family Reunion. The plot revolves around cat people who, you guessed it, have the unfortunate tendency to turn into cats and kill hookers every once and a while. At two hours long, the movie poses many an insightful question. Truly, who among us has not been lax in our morals and torn a hooker’s arms off, leaving her to bleed to death on the stairs of some cheap whorehouse in the middle of the crack district? And which of us has not, at some point in our past, slept with our sisters so that our breed of mutant leopard/human hybrids can live on to fight prostitution another day? If the answers to my queries, gentle reader, is yes, as I know mine are, then do not be so quick to judge..

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