|
|
|
|
|
February 2001
Download the word version, perfect for printing and handing out on street corners!
|
So, Superbowl Sunday has come and gone, and you know what that means. Yes,
it's crime wave time again, as football players and their delinquent fans
rush headlong into the off-season. But I'll bet you didn't spend your Sunday
evening bolting the doors and testing the burglar alarms like you should
have. No, I'll lay down dollars to donuts you spent your twilight hours
selling your souls and worshipping the Anti-Christ, in the form of the
ungodly Survivor II, just like everybody else. Yes, the latest in the slew
of trashy Reality TV programs designed to melt your brain faster than
drinking bong water has finally hit the airwaves, and the coming of the
Great Slayer can't be too far behind. Now, genocide is a strong word, but if
there's one group of people who deserve to be wiped off the face of the
planet, it's Survivor fans. Granted, this would rid the human race of its
entire female population (as well as a certain percentage of the males, if
you catch my drift), but the extinction of the species is a small price to
pay to get this crap off TV. What's wrong with you people? You'll bitch
about using rabbits to test shampoo but you'll let Temptation Island get on
the air? The people on that show don't deserve to live, let alone be on TV
for millions to adore. As for Survivor, I'd rather watch an entire year's
worth of CBC programming than sit through one episode of that crap. Why do I
hate Reality TV so much, you ask? Two words: No Zombies. I'm being
completely serious. I'm all for voyeurism, as the trio of female arts
students who live above me will no doubt confirm, but it's got to be
interesting. I don't watch TV to see a 90 year old navy seal flapping his
dentures at a female truck driver so dimwitted she thinks "wherever he's at"
is a sentence. I watch TV to see dead people eating naked ladies. Needless
to say, I watch a lot of late night Space. Real life is just plain boring,
and I'd rather not waste my time watching TV to see someone being
inconsequential and uninteresting when there's a perfectly good mirror in
the house. If the contestants were allowed, or better yet required, to kill
and eat anyone they vote off the show, or if the island was infested with
Peter Cushing and several dozen cryogenically frozen Nazi zombies, that
would be a different story, but as it stands, I think I'll pass. Make no
mistake, I'm not making any value judgements about the decline of Western
society being heralded by Reality TV. I'll be tuning in as fast as the next
guy once they start televising Texas executions (Thursdays on Fox), but it's
all this boring crap in between the fad's genesis with Blair Witch to its
inevitable Rollerball-esque conclusion that I can't stand. It's trash, pure
and simple, devoid of interest or intelligence, pandering to the lowest
common denominator. Now if you'll excuse me, Dark Angel is on, and you know
how I get if I miss my stories.
|
| | | | | |
Warning: require(): http:// wrapper is disabled in the server configuration by allow_url_include=0 in /home/public/pulp/includes/footer.php on line 3
Warning: require(http://www.tangmonkey.com/includes/ads.php): Failed to open stream: no suitable wrapper could be found in /home/public/pulp/includes/footer.php on line 3
Fatal error: Uncaught Error: Failed opening required 'http://www.tangmonkey.com/includes/ads.php' (include_path='.:/usr/local/php/8.0.30-nfsn2/lib/:/usr/local/php/lib/') in /home/public/pulp/includes/footer.php:3
Stack trace:
#0 /home/public/pulp/2-3/survivor.php(90): require()
#1 {main}
thrown in /home/public/pulp/includes/footer.php on line 3
| |