From: "AIRDUCT H. Q."
To: pulp@stupid.com
Subject: The Apocalypse is upon thee...
Date: Wed, 13 Dec 2000 21:57:21 -0000
Ash-
...Thus begins the descent into a vicious battle to the death, a mammoth
electronic war pinning good against evil, the literate versus the half-baked
forces of Ash, and characterized by savage personal attacks and more than a
little depraved hoodoo...
As a matter of interest, just because some of our contributors are fixated
with Collective Soul, neo-hippy bleeding heart liberalism and run-on
sentences, it doesn't mean that we're all a bunch of loser freaks grappling
with a social conscience and trying to define ourselves vicariously through
the hero-worship of mediocre so-called bands. In fact, I happen to disagree
with the majority of the swill we publish, but my alternative is to become a
twisted basement-dwelling crackpot who writes the entire paper alone, and I
know that you wouldn't want AIRDUCT to resemble PULP with such blatant
imitation...
By the way, thanks for the free publicity around Glebe. Those posters have
done more to spark controversy about our own paper than that highly surreal
publicity stunt the Rabid Lemur pulled in a fit of delirium... It seems that
your ingenious, devious plot to undermine us has backfired in a horribly
gory burst of fire and carnage. My heartfelt thanks. Next stop: toilet
graffiti!
-AIRDUCT EDITATION
To: "AIRDUCT H. Q."
From: pulp@stupid.com
Date: Wed, 13 Dec 2000 21:14:52
Subject: RE: The Apocalypse is upon thee...
AIRDUCT -
I'm glad to see that the posters appeared and have made an impression.
Although
I have done my best to sever all ties with my former life as a Glebite, I
still
maintain some contacts in the general population eager to do my bidding. But
as
far a sparking controversy....honestly, what could be less controversial
that
your liberal-mided tripe? I could spend my time parroting semi-literate
anti-corporate pinko hippie crap all day too, but I like to think I'm
capable of
the odd original thought now and again.
By the by, the opinions of your contributors DO reflect directly upon you.
What's the point of running a publication if you can't impose Gestapo-esque
levels of censorship over content? Freedom of speech needs to be earned, and
you
don't get it by mentioning the words 'Collective Soul' and 'band' in the
same sentence. And that devotion to quality, my fine feathered friend, is
exactly why PULP has so few other contributors. Or at least that's what I
tell
my Mom.
And in regards to your remarks concerning my living arangements, I'll have
you
know that while I may be twisted and a crackpot, I certainly do not live in
a
basement. Granted my appartment is small, dank and underground, but it said
very
clearly in the lease that it was a SUB-basement, thank you very much, so
nuts to
you and the communist horse you rode in on, hippie. Go listen to some some
pseudo-religious pop-rock and leave me alone.
Ash
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