Early November 1999

November and December always tend to be good movie months, as studios rush to get their quality flicks out before the Oscar deadline at the end of the year. Unfortunately, their definition of quality differs from mine quite a bit. The studios tend to think that anything starring Susan Sarandon is automatically Oscar worthy; I tend to avoid them like plague-rats. The studios like movies with strong plots and excellene characterization; I prefer at least a 3:1 axe-murder to hour of screen time ratio. The studios adore touching-yet-tragic love stories; I like lesbians. But, on the plus side, once you sift through the Stepmoms and Music of the Hearts, the November-December rush usually has its share of actually good movies, and this year is no exception. Take a look at some of the better flicks set to hit theatres in the next two months: The Legend Of Sleepy Hollow   Director Tim Burton and grunge-god Johnny Depp reunite in this Hammer Horror tribute based on the Washington Irving story. End of Days You’ve got Gabriel Byrne as the devil, a cool apocalyptic storyline, and $140 million dollars of special effects to play with. What’s not to like? For starters, having to spend the whole movie watching Arnold Schwartzenegger trying to speak. Dogma Kevin (Chasing Amy, Clerks) Smith’s new movie is a charming little Biblical story with more pop-culture icons than the latest issue of Tiger Beat. With Alanis as God! Mmmm, blasphemerific. Toy Story II Quit laughing, I like cartoons. The Messenger Mila Jovovich plays Joan of Arc. To most French people, that’s sort of like Leonardo DiCaprio playing Jesus, but slightly more offensive. The World Is Not Enough 007 returns to the big screen once again. Hijiinks ensue.