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Deleted Scenes Tangmonkey Forum Submit to pulp |
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Halloween 1999
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In this issue: Bats Blair Witch Costume Tips The Best and Worst of Horror Hollywood's History of Horror and What is Halloween? |
| Buffy’s Top 10 Halloween Costume Tips: The Good, The Bad, and The Madeline Albright | Buffy |
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1) Buffy The Vampire Slayer: Bet ya didn't see that one coming. But all personal bias aside, she is still a kick-ass character...and you get to justify the use of excessively tight, leather clothing AND teen-speak both at once. Xena can also be substituted in a pinch. 2) Transvestite: Granted, this is no longer an original idea, but it still manages to get the yuks in a more conservative setting. Just a quick caution to you hetero guys: Women do not like men who look better in skirts then they do. 3) Madeline Albright: Umm...Remember folks, you want to SCARE, not SCAR. On the plus side, though, I highly doubt anyone would have the guts to steal your loot. Or go near you. 4) Ash: See number 3. (Editor’s Note: Hey!) 5) Celine Dion: Probably the only costume for which your Grand-Pa could be used as an accessory. Anorexia and/or bulimia a prerequisite. 6) Santa Claus: People want to sit on your lap and be very, very good. Note: candy is kinky, and pictures can be used as blackmail. 7) Mike Tyson: You get to put a whole new spin on Mark Anthony’s Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ears spiel. On the down side, not many women find a man convicted of rape a turn-on. 8) Gwyneth Paltrow: This costume has the ability to render the wearer two-dimensional. From the front she=s Gwen, but she turns sideways and....Hey, where=d she go? 9) Mike Harris: No one will laugh. People will want to kill you. Someone will kill you. You will be dead. If you are only going for the same general effect, but want to live through the night, try an Adolf costume instead. 10) Jerry Springer: Never, never, never, never, never. Never. EVER. |
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