September 2000

September 28/2000 (1:56 PM) ~ posted by Sean
James Schend IS a stupid jackass!

Now, I'm not the type who goes and attacks people. I like people. I really do. And it's not because I don't -like- James that he's a stupid jackass, it's just that he showed himself to be stupid. Because it's one thing to criticize a website (let a lone a Media Empire), but it's another thing to criticize it three times, in bold text, while berating them over-and-over-again for a single error... when that error... er... didn't exist. You see, on www.schend.net, Mr. Schend's site, he ranted and raved about how although his site was mentioned in the last news entry, he was not linked back to - this being a violation of netiquette. Mr. Schend was quite correct in his statement about common courtesy, but.. well.. his site WAS linked back to. Look for yourself. Now, it's likely he'll criticize for not putting that link in the first (or every) reference to him in the news post, but, well, the first of the references to him was in the same sentence as "stupid jackass", and the majority of those that followed were also coupled with the "stupid jackass" comment. TANGMONKEY.COM likes his site - it is a thought-provoking look at Ellensburg, that we would have otherwise been forced to go through life without.. er.. knowing - and although Mr. Schend appears to be a "stupid jackass", we wouldn't want to connote his brilliant human-state-in-the-pseudo-21st-century diary with "stupidity" or "jackassness". So, we linked to him in a later mention of his name - say, the second or third time - instead.

Anyway. We take offense to his comments, because he was wrong. One of the other (self-regulated) rules of the Net is that you don't lie about other peoples' websites, cause people can just go there and see if you're lying. Which everyone can see he was. Well, I doubt he was lying; he was just, probably, a stupid jackass.

Oh yes - we're sorry about the email downtime. Wish we could do something about it. Equally, in a straight-ahead sort of statement, we wish everyone.net [the company that provides us with our automated email infrastructure] wouldn't force you to reenter your password, just so they can get a banner in your face. Imagine - a site making itself less efficient/aesthetically pleasing, just to make a few cents! I think only two words can describe the owners of sites like that: Stupid, Jackass.
 

September 24/2000 (1:15 AM) ~ posted by Sean
JAMES SCHEND IS A "stupid jackass"

James Schend is not a "stupid jackass". Not really. But I needed a catchy header so I just quoted his journal-entry-thing from today. Mr. Schend has recently started using TangMail, and he has criticized the site for requesting his password twice, when using the login portal thing [that being the technical term].

I decided it was probably appropriate for me to explain to James "stupid jackass" Schend why exactly we decided to implement the two-tier password system.

By the way, James isn't a "stupid jackass". Seriously. He's smart and witty and talented at fantasy role-playing. He's even sensitive with the people he cares for, often. He's also negative, though, and that's probably why someone called him a "stupid jackass". And i don't think he is one. Really. But I needed a catchy nickname for him so I quoted his journal-entry thing from today.

Now, the 2-tier password explanation:

Tangmonkey.com realized long ago that the Internet was home to some unseemly characters. Porn kings, drug dealers, Hanson fansite webmasters, crackers, and the riffraff that KOOL-AID-DOG.NET regularly foists upon us - they all roam the Web like evil outlaw cowboys that look for porn, sell drugs, run Hanson websites or break into computers.

We developed the following syllogism:
1) People try to break into things like webmail.
2) Passwords usually prevent people from breaking into things like webmail.
THUS
3) Passwords will usually prevent people from breaking into things like webmail.

To make -extra- sure, we force people to plug in their [identical] password twice. This is obviously simple logic, as when people must type their passwords twice, you can use the mathematical formula:
1 / 2 = 0.5
As you can see, there is only HALF the chance that someone will see them typing it in - thus allowing them to break into the account.

I hope that's sufficient explanation. Any questions about security should be sent to our VP in charge of Complaints and Being Imaginary, Ulmo Mutte.
 

September 13/2000 (1:12 PM) ~ posted by JP
I added a more obvious link to the FAQ for first time users who haven't a clue what we're all about (although the FAQ really doesn't have all that much info). Not much going on here at the York branch-office of Tangmonkey.com, I imagine Dave is hard at work on the Rant! engine back in Ottawa. Right Dave?!?
 

September 6/2000 (11:08 PM) ~ posted by Sean
Many of you may have been aware that Microsoft Corporation is currently under investigation by the American Department of Justice, (and were in fact ruled against), in the matter of being a 'Monopoly'. Seeing as The Tangmonkey Group has a monopoly on near everything in the entire world, including Freedom and Imagination, (the previous nineteen words are for Educational Purposes only), one would expect that they, too, might be investigated by the Department, even though they have full control of it, Tuesdays through Saturdays.

In order to avoid any sort of outcry, however, TM.COM has been careful to not-quite-book-up everything. As a result, there are two insanely great artists who are not owned by Tangmonkey Records. This is only because someone might get suspicious, if absolutely -every- good band was under our label.

Radiohead is awesome. You've heard them. Their new album, "Kid A" is released October 3rd, in North America. It will be great.

Gomez, however, is a lesser known, terrific band. Their genre, is, according to them, "folk soul", but they can play basically everything. They, too, have a new album coming out, September 25th. Check them out on Napster (or Macster) - try "Rhythm and Blues Alibi", "Make No Sound", "Machismo" or "Get Miles" - and then buy their albums!