January 2002
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January 31/2002 (1:42 PM) ~ posted by JP Word up to all ma bitches!!
Hopefully that'll offset the geekery that will follow, I don't want to appear too geeky you see otherwise I may not be invited to the football team's kegger on the weekend and I really want to go. I heard they have beer at these parties and drunken cheerleaders so maybe I can snag me a date to the prom, then I'll be cool.
Right, not sure what that was but I needed an introduction for the (drumroll please)... BIG NEWS! The BIG NEWS is that I've been messing around with the forum and some things have changed. I've taken the barely used "Comics" and "Columns" forums and combined them with the "Rant" forum in order to produce a new "super forum" if you will which will be known as (and here's the BIG NEWS you've been waiting for) Content Cupboard! Yes, I know it's all a bit too much to take in just now so please feel free to take a few days off work or school to adjust to the changes, I'll write you a note, don't worry. Now it seems that before the changes some people thought that the "Rant" forum was there so that they could rant about various things, not true. The "Rant" forum was actually in place so that people could discuss Rants which had been submitted to (and this may come as BIG NEWS to some of you) the Rant! section of this very website. I kid you not. If you post a rant (either humorous or otherwise) it'll go on the main page of the site until the next one is submitted! What an honour! So do submit, it's good for you.
Note from Sean: There's also a brand-spankin'-new column [on the lovely, slightly-redesigned comics page]! It's called Underpants on the Outside and it focuses on that haven for completists and misanthropes: comic books. It's written by expert-heartthrob Scott, whom you can email with your congratulations and/or barbs. Welcome to the team!
January 23/2002 (10:16 AM) ~ posted by Ash Hey kids, ready for both a new PULP and a new Tales from the Crypt? Neither am I. That's because everyone's favourite Ash is currently battling both the Quebec Health Care system and his own intestines to try to live long enough to finish this sentence, let alone waste time writing stuff, so the new PULP might take a while. The column should do alright, though, and it'll start appearing regularly enough on the weekends.
January 18/2002 (9:48 AM) ~ posted by JP Note: The Zerolux link below has just been fixed, it used to point to the incorrect URL, now it points to the right one check it out.
Hey kids, this first week of the new design has been a little turbulent and I'm afraid it's not going to end for about another week and a half or two while we get some work done squashing those pesky bugs. One bug I just squashed was the Top Ten approval system. Unlike Rant where your zany thoughts are automatically posted online as soon as you type them out (sometimes with dubious results, see "scat porn") the TopTens you submit need to be approved by a qualified Tangmonkey editor before they go online. The system for doing this was broken for a little while but I've just fixed it and with that released a deluge of new TopTens! (5) Please keep submitting, I assure you approval will be quicker from now on.
Speaking of submissions, the friendly boys over at Zerolux.net are lookin' for some lovin'. If you've got any art/design in any digital medium they want it, photos, vids, music, whatever. Now I should say that Tangmonkey is also looking for submissions but they asked me so nicely to shamelessly plug their site I just couldn't resist. You should also note that Zerolux is currently in "super-beta", presumably this means they're going to infuse it with "pure goodness" and remove any trace of "crappy" in the near future. Keep an eye on it.
January 13/2002 (6:28 PM) ~ posted by Sean Que do? Much do! Much is new and much do!
 As you can see, the long-vaunted Tangmonkey Relaunch is finally at hand, in hand, smacked into your monitor with a sassy new brand of orange and flashy new pixellated stylings. With all the technical whozits comes the hot breath of new energy and sizzling spirit: Tangmonkey's back, and we're dancing.
What's what with the new site, you may ask? Well, first come the originators: namely, the Tangmonkey Group, whose added contributions have made this happen. Special thanks to Dave, who finally got around to making our sketches and mock-ups a concrete reality.
Now then, the new: well, there's this page, all splashed up and pretty, promoting all that's new and cool, including your rants and your top tens... What's that? "Top tens!?" you ask? Why yes, yes indeed, Top Tens. Tangmonkey has three new sections. They are as follows:
Top Ten: Like RANT!, we have here a database of Top Ten lists, ready to be filled with every topic under the sun. From random words, to the movies you love, let the world know your divine wisdom or gregarious wit. The Official Ice-Cream Fan Club: For too long, the world has gone without a fan-club for this most pivotal of dishes. It is here at last, replete with Petition. Bjorn Lincoln and the Bane of Forever: We have here the first Tangmonkey Serial Novel, an absurd and rollicking book, to be updated with a new chapter weekly, that tells the strange tale of Bjorn Lincoln on his quest for vengeance. This is just the beginning; so look around, enjoy, waste many, many hours, and remember that immortal aphorism: "How do you kill a circus? ... Go for the juggler."
Note from JP: We've just finished uploading the new site and we're bug fixing like mad, it won't be perfect for a little while but please bear with us. If you find anything that needs fixin' email me and we'll get right on it.
January 12/2002 (2:55 PM) ~ posted by Ash I'd like to take this opportunity to do one of those things my therapist says will make me a better person, and wish a big ol' internet happy birthday to the wife. Technically, her birthday was yesterday, but we were too busy arguing over whether not punching or verbally abusing her for one full day counts as a present for me to post anything. Anyway, happy birthday.
January 4/2002 (4:43 PM) ~ posted by JP Hey Everyone, I hope you all had a good break. I spent mine partying with my friends and falling off my rented snowboard at Mt. Tremblant. Web-guy Dave was in Nova-Scotia so he was unable to finish the much anticipated Tangmonkey redesign but he and I are gonna tele-colaborate on it tomorrow and hopefully we'll get it done sunday. Our sometimes-graphical-helper-monkey Mike Corr spent his holiday drinking Heineken and (thank GOD!) he videotaped it, to see Mike gettin' jiggy click here.
Also, don't forget to check out the new View Askew. New content on Tangmonkey? That's unpossible! (Simpsons quote, not bad grammar)
January 3/2002 (1:56 PM) ~ posted by Zebulon New View Askew!!
January 1/2002 (1:02 AM) ~ posted by Zebulon Well, it's another new year, and we wish the last arbitrary twelve-month chunk of time a fond farewell. "Goodbye, measurement of another trip around the sun!" we say.
It was quite a year, wasn't it? A year of laughter, a year of tears, a year of hopes and a year of fears. A year that we shared and it's time we're aware, it's a short year after all.
And what better way to reflect than to make a nice cup of hot cocoa, pull up a cozy chair, lock the kids in the basement and settle down in front of 'Ol Mr. Computer to read back through all the great Tangmonkey Columns, including everyone’s favorite, View Askew? Well let me just tell you right now that there is no better way!
And to all a happy new year.
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