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Letters to the Editor: Airduct: Letter #2

From: "AIRDUCT H. Q."
To: pulp@stupid.com
Subject: ducks make good pets
Date: Wed, 22 Nov 2000 23:14:20 -0000


Many thanks for your electro-magnetic cyberspatial PULP. I'm forwarding it to everyone I know who might appreciate it, that is, anyone certifiable whose socks don't match and who don't feel compelled to restrict their recreational activities to lawful activities definitely not involving furry rodents and the like. I had no idea that Eeyore was alive and well somewhere in his abyss of insanity... it's hard to tell with his sort.

I'd send you an electronic version of AIRDUCT, but the reality is that I'm a quasi-neo-Luddite whose main aspirations technology-wise are to master grammar check and the photocopier machine. If you actually give a damn, I can send a hard copy to you, or I can try to persuade one of my lazy-ass contributors to attempt to send you some form of electronic AIRDUCT... I'll have to think that one over, and that's no small feat when I'm already trying to juggle three parallel existences. ... But here I go again, regressing into esoteric abstracts...

The thing is, you're really not missing all that much. It's not as if AIRDUCT is anything like PULP. With few exceptions (and all unconscious and oblique, anyway), we don't dabble in cult cinema, and none of our contributors have quite perfected the art of systematically denouncing every possible group with scathing political-incorrectness. My strategy so far has been to focus on the eccentric and the ecclectic, so I hardly ever reject any submission, unless it re-defines lame with lyrics about happy butterflies and pretty flowers (I actually had to deal with this one... I'll bet nobody ever submitted flying insect poetry to PULP!). The result is a pathetically amateur paper with a shockingly high fluff content written primarily by people who you wouldn't necessarily be afraid of it you saw them on the bus... not quite the same image that PULP has...

Anyway, thanks for taking time out of your grueling schedule of horror movies and quality television to debase yourself so far as to drop AIRDUCT a line. It's good to know that even the "king of media and master of its peoples" has not forgotten the punks he left behind in the dank dungeons of GCI. I'm aiming to have AIRDUCT's December issue out on the 1st if I can get my act together... let me know the best way to get you a copy if you're interested... Until next time, keep up the caustic witticism.


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