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April 2001

Download the word version, perfect for printing and handing out on street corners!
In this issue:    Eeyore Takes on Easter!    Ash Gets Spicy!    Crankenstein Returns!    PLUS: St. Irish Day!    And an honest to goodness REAL MOVIE REVIEW!
An Introduction from Ash

Here it is, kiddies, the Easter edition of PULP. Or at least it would be if I hadn't forgotten, been reminded, and forgotten again. But luckily, Eeyore remembered, so we at least have something to remind us of the sacrifice the Jesus Bunny made so that we could all be forgiven our sins. But I digress. This is not a time for brevity, but one for solemn reflection on the past year, in fact on the past 1967 odd years since the Jesus Bunny died on the chocolate cross and Mary Magdalene hid his body parts for the kids to find, and more importantly on the most recent Oscars, which demand some particular reflection. While Batturtle raises many of my concerns with the show in his article, I'd like to point out for the record that once again, Traci Lords has been shut out of the awards race. For those of you who aren't film buffs, allow let me to state that Lords is one of the finest actresses of our generation, and has yet to be recognized by anyone but me for her fine work in such films as Whore of the Worlds, Tailhouse Rock, and Huge Bras 3. Not only that, but her 'legitimate' film career, which she embarked upon after her 18th birthday, has been largely ignored by the Academy as well, despite including such classic films as Not Of This Earth and First Wave, which is admittedly not so much a movie as a crappy TV show on the New RO. OK, fine, maybe she's not so hot of an actress, but she is pretty damn foxy, although she does kinda look like what would happen if you crossed Renee Zellweger with Christina Applegate and then hit the baby in the face with a shovel. But enough about her, let's get on the PULP-y goodness. Oh, and due to my complete nervous breakdown, not only is this issue not very funny, but it's devoid of a 'New In Theatres' article, as I have been unable to leave the house without twitching. But I trust you'll all get into the Easter spirit and enjoy it nonetheless

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