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April 2001
Download the word version, perfect for printing and handing out on street corners!
Mandatory AIRDUCT Bashing
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Ash
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I write this after having spent a good 10 minutes wading through the last two issues of AIRDUCT, which is analogous to being drilled in the forehead for a full day by a really pretentious woodpecker. AIRDUCT, for those not in the know, is the sequel to the print version of PULP, back in the days when we roamed the halls of Glebe Collegiate Institute like a hall monitor with hostility issues. At best, AIRDUCT is a blatant imitation, kind of like what would happen if PULP was written by stoned 14-year olds trying to discuss philosophy while watching Fraggle Rock. At worst, it's what would happen if PULP was written by stoned 17 year olds trying to discuss leftist politics while tripping over a thesaurus. After about three pages and 35 000 words, I began to fear that all I would learn from AIRDUCT is that I really hate being preached to by the Babysitter's Club. Five pages in, the stick of marijuana all over digitally remastered glove's pieces threatened to give me a contact high and put me to sleep. Six pages in, Lucid Cannon's writing accomplished what glove's couldn't, and I was deep into a much needed rest. The horrifyingly left-wing dreams I endured during my slumber convinced me that maybe they should lay off the commie crap before they manage to convince GCI that outlawing Christmas and sticking half the population in gulags is somehow a good idea. That's right, kids, better dead than red. Burn a copy of AIRDUCT for Uncle Ash.
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Stack trace:
#0 /home/public/pulp/2-5/ductbash.php(52): require()
#1 {main}
thrown in /home/public/pulp/includes/footer.php on line 3
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