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Timeless

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In this issue:Ash takes on L. Ron Hubbard in a battle of the kooks! And an interview with GLENN DANZIG! PLUS: Eeyore complains! And a famous celebrity gets pissed at us! All this and more in this, the penultimate issue of PULP!
 
 
Opinion: Being Nice
Forrest

 
I’ve just come to the sudden realization that being nice is crap and will get you nowhere in life. Movies and books and TV shows always tell you that you will be better off in the end if you’re nice, but that has turned out, in my experience, to be a complete load. Sure, I try and act polite and courteous and smart; Has it ever gotten me a job? NO! I let other people get on a crowded elevator and wait for the next one; Have they ever slipped me a 20 for my troubles? NO! I hold doors open for ladies; Has it ever gotten me laid? NO! Everywhere I look I see people acting like jerks and being disrespectful and rude, and having way more fun than me. Life for nice people is like that story about that Job guy, except minus the happy ending; nice people invariably wind up going nowhere. So, children, the lesson is to never be nice. Ignore what Mr Rogers or Big Bird or whoever told you; the world is out to get you, being nice won’t pay off in the long run, and nice guys do finish last (and not in the good way).





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