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In this issue:Ash takes on L. Ron Hubbard in a battle of the kooks! And an interview with GLENN DANZIG! PLUS: Eeyore complains! And a famous celebrity gets pissed at us! All this and more in this, the penultimate issue of PULP!
 
 
EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW!
Ash

 
Guess what, all you teenyboppers? There’s no need to stand outside Britons and eagerly await the latest issue of Seventeen, YM, Tiger Beat, or whatever the hell else you Mongoloids read to get the latest infor on your favorite braindead boybands. Get all your girlfriends together, kick out the ‘rents for the night, pop on the latest BSB disc, and gather round, cause PULP has a special treat for. That’s right, kids, PULP is proud to present an exclusive interview with the head of your favorite hot pop group... DANZIG! PULP’s concert correspondent ASH was lucky enough to catch a word with this hot young rising star after his their latest concert at the Phoenix Concert Theatre in Toronto, and we were fortunate enough to clear through the legal red tape in order to print it. Quit your screaming, ladies, I can barely hear myself type. Here it is, in it’s entirety, an intimate look at the latest pop sensation... Glenn Danzig!!!
VITALS:
Name: Glenn Danzig
Birthday: June 23, 1955
Sign: Cancer

ASH: So, Glenn, that was a great show. Thanks for taking the time to talk to me
GD: What?
ASH: You’ve been in one band or another for over 20 years. What was your favorite period in your career?
GD: Who are you?
ASH: I’ll ask the questions here, Glenn. Firstly, would be possible to stop hitting me?
GD: No.
ASH: Fair enough. Let’s start with some general questions. Your latest album, 6:66 Satan’s Child, is a smash hit, selling dozens of copies in Canada alone! How do you deal with your sudden stardom?
GD: How did you get in here? Did I leave the window open?
ASH: Sort of. So, Glenn, our readers are dying to know... what do you look for in a girlfriend?
GD: Intestines. They’re real fun to look for. Now go away.
ASH: Is there a special someone in your life right now, or do our female readers still have some hope?
GD: Did you just wink at me? Don’t do that.
ASH: Have you ever thought about leaving the band and embarking on a solo career, similar to Mel C of the Spice Girls?
GD: I’m going to cut you. Very badly.
ASH: Well, looks like I’m almost out of time. Thanks a lot for your time, Glenn-
GD: That’s Mr. Danzig to you, punk.
ASH: Thanks a lot , Mr. Danzig. See you out on tour!
GD: If I ever see you again, I will take your face.

We also sent our female concert correspondent, Sutter Cane, in for another breif interview, but she never came out of the trailer. Stay tuned next week for follow up interviews with other hot boyband interviews, including Tom Araya from Slayer and that guy with the penis ring from Cradle of Filth





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