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May 2001
Download the word version, perfect for printing and handing out on street corners!
Free Speech For The Dumb
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Ash
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After years of putting out this rag, I'm sure that you regular readers out
there know me fairly well. I've often acted as a bastion of morality, a
litmus test for what is right and wrong, a champion of all that is good and
true in the world, provided it's white, male and between the ages of 18-45.
So, imagine my surprise when just a few days ago, on the tangmonkey.com
forums I so frequently haunt, a furor erupted over whether or not my posts
should be censored. That's right, I, Ash, often called 'The Most Pleasant
Man in Canada' and occasionally just "The Greatest Man Alive", was
threatened with a muzzling. The controversy in questions was in regards to a
post I had made in a philosophical forum regarding homosexual culture. I had
made the valid point that it is possible to object to certain aspects of gay
culture without objecting to homosexuality in general, and as an example I
gave the rampant promiscuity of a segment of the gay male population. Also I
said that all lesbians were hairy-legged, man-hating dykes. Apparently, this
didn't go over too well with certain elements of the "politically correct"
or "annoying" faction that occasionally visit the website, and I was soon
the subject of a fierce debate over freedom of speech. Many good points were
raised, all of them by me, of course, but before the argument settled down I
had been called both a bigot and a self-loathing closet case. While I may be
many things, bigoted and self-loathing being just two of them, I can assure
you that I did not use the word 'dyke' because I'm secretly lesbian.
Regardless of why I used the term, be it satire, shock value, or raging
insecurity manifesting itself it all-encompassing hostility, I think the
real issue is that censorship of speech and thought is atrocious. Sure, I
may be spreading hatred and perpetuating harmful stereotypes, but isn't the
idea of free speech what our very society is founded on? By 'our' of course
I mean 'American', but goddamnit, no society that can produce Mystery
Science Theatre 3000 and Sabrina The Teenage Witch can be that fundamentally
flawed. After all, without freedom of thought, speech and assembly, where
would we be today? Still under the oppressive yoke of the tyrannical
British, being charged outlandish prices for tea that's frankly kind of a
fruity drink to begin with. And by 'we' of course I mean the Americans
again, but seeing as there's a distinct lack of a Canadian culture or
identity I'll just stick with them for the time being. Think about it,
people, being able to freely express yourself is one of the keys to true
happiness. Plus, if you don't let people spew out everything and anything
their feverish little brains come up with, how are you going to know who to
gas when it's time for the cleansing? Honestly, if undesirables were kept
muzzled and stifled, they'd soon become invisible and worm their way into
all manner of powerful positions. Why, you could be taking French classes
from a neo-Nazi, or even worse, a Frenchman, and not even know it! At least
with unlimited freedom of expression, you know who your ideological enemies
are, and it's much easier to blacklist them. Anyway, now that I've said my
piece, I'd like to solicit some thoughts from you, the reader. If you've got
any ideas about free speech, or any harmful stereotypes to perpetuate,
please send them PULP's way. Anything goes, of course, except for profanity,
which is unethical and improper.
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