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May 2001

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In this issue:    Suicide Sandler!     Coping With Satanism!     Doin' it Crankenstyle!     PLUS: Hippie Holocaust!, And a castration-free CULT PICK!.
 
 
Free Speech For The Dumb
Ash

 
After years of putting out this rag, I'm sure that you regular readers out there know me fairly well. I've often acted as a bastion of morality, a litmus test for what is right and wrong, a champion of all that is good and true in the world, provided it's white, male and between the ages of 18-45. So, imagine my surprise when just a few days ago, on the tangmonkey.com forums I so frequently haunt, a furor erupted over whether or not my posts should be censored. That's right, I, Ash, often called 'The Most Pleasant Man in Canada' and occasionally just "The Greatest Man Alive", was threatened with a muzzling. The controversy in questions was in regards to a post I had made in a philosophical forum regarding homosexual culture. I had made the valid point that it is possible to object to certain aspects of gay culture without objecting to homosexuality in general, and as an example I gave the rampant promiscuity of a segment of the gay male population. Also I said that all lesbians were hairy-legged, man-hating dykes. Apparently, this didn't go over too well with certain elements of the "politically correct" or "annoying" faction that occasionally visit the website, and I was soon the subject of a fierce debate over freedom of speech. Many good points were raised, all of them by me, of course, but before the argument settled down I had been called both a bigot and a self-loathing closet case. While I may be many things, bigoted and self-loathing being just two of them, I can assure you that I did not use the word 'dyke' because I'm secretly lesbian. Regardless of why I used the term, be it satire, shock value, or raging insecurity manifesting itself it all-encompassing hostility, I think the real issue is that censorship of speech and thought is atrocious. Sure, I may be spreading hatred and perpetuating harmful stereotypes, but isn't the idea of free speech what our very society is founded on? By 'our' of course I mean 'American', but goddamnit, no society that can produce Mystery Science Theatre 3000 and Sabrina The Teenage Witch can be that fundamentally flawed. After all, without freedom of thought, speech and assembly, where would we be today? Still under the oppressive yoke of the tyrannical British, being charged outlandish prices for tea that's frankly kind of a fruity drink to begin with. And by 'we' of course I mean the Americans again, but seeing as there's a distinct lack of a Canadian culture or identity I'll just stick with them for the time being. Think about it, people, being able to freely express yourself is one of the keys to true happiness. Plus, if you don't let people spew out everything and anything their feverish little brains come up with, how are you going to know who to gas when it's time for the cleansing? Honestly, if undesirables were kept muzzled and stifled, they'd soon become invisible and worm their way into all manner of powerful positions. Why, you could be taking French classes from a neo-Nazi, or even worse, a Frenchman, and not even know it! At least with unlimited freedom of expression, you know who your ideological enemies are, and it's much easier to blacklist them. Anyway, now that I've said my piece, I'd like to solicit some thoughts from you, the reader. If you've got any ideas about free speech, or any harmful stereotypes to perpetuate, please send them PULP's way. Anything goes, of course, except for profanity, which is unethical and improper.





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