Like a Party in Your Browser!
About the Author

Column Archive

So it's like this. I had to learn how to type, so this webzine Tang Monkey or something, puts up this ad in bus stops and on telephone poles that read "learn to type" or something similar to exactly what I need. So I tear off a tab that has a phone number on it, and when I get home, I give it a ring. The next thing I know, I'm surrounded by gestapo-type people who are not only rapping my knucles with steel pipes when I type wrong, but I'm actually supposed to crank out columns for the Tang Monkey. I thought it was pretty rough, and after 8 hours of it, I was like "Okay guys, that's all I can take for today, I'm off to bed." and they were like "WHAP!" with the steel pipes againg. So I discover that I have to keep typing, no sleep, with only Vodka and lettuce to sustain me, so if I ramble on at times, blame the Tang Monkey police. And I still don't know how to type.

Disclaimer | Email Us | Dance!
Text, images, design, and our groovy mojo are ©.
return to the top of the page

Warning: require(): http:// wrapper is disabled in the server configuration by allow_url_include=0 in /home/public/columns/includes/footer.php on line 3

Warning: require( Failed to open stream: no suitable wrapper could be found in /home/public/columns/includes/footer.php on line 3

Fatal error: Uncaught Error: Failed opening required '' (include_path='.:/usr/local/php/8.1.29-nfsn1/lib/:/usr/local/php/lib/') in /home/public/columns/includes/footer.php:3 Stack trace: #0 /home/public/columns/cat6profile.php(46): require() #1 {main} thrown in /home/public/columns/includes/footer.php on line 3