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Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
4.2.2003 by , every Wednesday.
Nathan Lane comes over every Wednesday to the house to watch a movie, or just chat with Dan. Dan found these little chats so interesting, he decided to tape-record them and tell the world all the neat things Nathan had to say about movies and stuff.
Wednesday, March 26th, raining
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind (2002): An adaptation of the cult memoir of game show impressario Chuck Barris, in which he purports to have been a CIA hitman. Starring Sam Rockwell, written by Charlie Kaufman, and directed by George Clooney.
Nathan: Welcome to the movies!
Me: Yep.
Nathan: How did you get this?
(they announced the lottery numbers on the radio. I didn't win, so I tore up my ticket)
Me: I ripped it.
Nathan: No you didn't.
Me: Well, someone I know ripped it for me.
Nathan: The whole thing seems to exist in a studio, like it's some sort of grand stage play.
Me: Uh-huh.
Nathan: It felt like a movie that Orson Welles would make if he were still.....making....a movie.
Me: "..started makin' trouble in my neighbourhood.."
Nathan: I think the George Clooney-Steven Soderbergh friendship has been one of the best things to happen to movies in a long time.
Me: "..she said you movin' with your auntie and uncle.."
Nathan: What did you think, Dan?
Me: "..I said nah forget it.."
Nathan: (looking around) Dan?
Me: Yeah it was okay.
Nathan: Just OK? Can I have this then?
Me: No.
Nathan: Well what would you rather watch?
Me: I don't know.
Nathan: An episode of Fresh Prince?
Me: Yeah.
Nathan: Why is that?
Me: I don't know.
Nathan: Is it because it has black people in it?
Me: Yeah. I just have fun.
Nathan: Dan, there's someone I want you to talk to. Al, will you come in here, please?
(Al Jolson comes in. The crowd cheers and claps really loud. We have about a hundred people who watch us talk every week now)
Nathan: Al knows about this kind of thing.
(Al takes a few slow steps towards me, just staring. He smells like burnt cork, and you can hear his teeth grinding)
Nathan: Explain to him about what it means to find black people "fun", Al.
Al: I....can't....
(Al starts crying and punching me in the face, like a lot)
Nathan: Yes, that's right.
(He starts breaking the glass in my picture frames)
Me: Why are you doing this?
Nathan: You don't understand.
Al: You don't understand.
(Nathan starts typing on my computer. Al is screaming now)
Me: What are you doing?
Nathan: I'm spreading hate literature.
(the audience erupts into laughter and cheering)
Me: Why?
Nathan: You're not the victim, Dan. You're not.
Me: I never said--
Al: How long must this go on?
Nathan: So close, yet so far, Al.
Me: I quit.
(audience cheers)
end.
To view Nathan's live journal, click here, or you can e-mail him here.
Notes:
"if it is funny, it is funny because we see the absurdity of it all." -D.L.
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