Top Ten Complaints Among Characters from the Matrix
November 17, 2003:   By A Good Ladd, #167
Eye strain from wearing sunglasses all the time, even when it's not f**king sunny.
Constantly tripping over long, flowing coats.
Whacked in the face by ecstatic, writhing underground dancer.
Tired of Morpheus and his Goddamn pseudo-philosophical crap.
Brain tumours from excessive cell phone use.
Meals are always messy because all the f**king spoons are bent out of shape.
Various injuries from just-for-the-hell-of-it, no-reason-whatsoever, fancy martial arts fights.
VD from unprotected sex with Neo ("Come on, baby, we don't need a condom; I'm the one!")
Forgetting they're in the real world and trying run up a wall and do a triple-flip.
Broken bones from falling into the huge plotholes.
Editor's Note: 11. sucking too much.

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Top Ten Complaints Among Characters from the Matrix
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