Signs That You're Not At A Prestigious University
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May 18, 2003: By Doctor Furious, #148
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10.
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"Dorms" appear to be reconditioned chicken coops
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9.
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Virtually all classes have odd emphasis on making hamburgers and dressing as a clown
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8.
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Psych 101 basically just making Rorshach ink blots with finger paints
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7.
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You're pretty sure that "Alpha Bravo Fellatio" is not a legitimate fraternity
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6.
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Only sports team is group of guys who dress in orange vests and pick up litter by the highway
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5.
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School mascot is the hunter who killed Bambi's mom
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4.
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All students and faculty forced to make and wear "Star Trek" uniforms
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3.
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Offers a degree in "bong theory"
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2.
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Curriculum consists mainly of being forced to make Nike sneakers
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1.
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Mysteriously hooded dean always ranting about how one day we'll get those Joes
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Editor's Note: Other than #s 2, 9, and 10, that sounds like a pretty sweet school. Like going back to preschool with the addition of sex, drugs, and Star Trek, and getting a university degree for it. Sign me up!
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