Top Ten Thoughts That Crossed Saddam Hussein's Mind When He Was Caught
January 7, 2004:   By B.J. Big Hands, #180
10. 
Why oh why did I bother rationing my clean boxer shorts?!
9. 
Oh great.  I can see the headlines now: "Saddam cocky, lodged in man-sized hole."
8. 
I better see Ashton Kutcher's smug face when they drag me out of this hole.
7. 
The media will probably refer to my hiding place as the Batcave.  That's pretty cool, at least.
6. 
That's it.  -- I'm endorsing Howard Dean.
5. 
Aw crap, looks like I owe Arafat $20.
4. 
In retrospect, I shouldn't have had my mail forwarded here.
3. 
Looks like I'm between Iraq and a hard place.  Oh Saddam, you've still got it!
2. 
Someone should probably let my doubles know they can come out of their holes now.
1. 
They may have caught me, but they'll never catch Hani Abd Al Latif Tilfah Al-Tikriti!
Editor's Note: 11. That's it: I'm fucked.
 
 
 

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Top Ten Thoughts That Crossed Saddam Hussein's Mind When He Was Caught
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