Signs That You're Not At A Prestigious University
May 18, 2003:   By Doctor Furious, #148
"Dorms" appear to be reconditioned chicken coops
Virtually all classes have odd emphasis on making hamburgers and dressing as a clown
Psych 101 basically just making Rorshach ink blots with finger paints
You're pretty sure that "Alpha Bravo Fellatio" is not a legitimate fraternity
Only sports team is group of guys who dress in orange vests and pick up litter by the highway
School mascot is the hunter who killed Bambi's mom
All students and faculty forced to make and wear "Star Trek" uniforms
Offers a degree in "bong theory"
Curriculum consists mainly of being forced to make Nike sneakers
Mysteriously hooded dean always ranting about how one day we'll get those Joes
Editor's Note: Other than #s 2, 9, and 10, that sounds like a pretty sweet school.  Like going back to preschool with the addition of sex, drugs, and Star Trek, and getting a university degree for it.  Sign me up!

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Signs That You're Not At A Prestigious University
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