Top Ten Good Things About Having Crappy Old Car
January 30, 2003:   By Doctor Furious, #125
10. 
Wintertime driving made more enjoyable by cozy fire crackling in your glove compartment
9. 
Large holes in car's body produce soothing whistling melody
8. 
Detatchable steering wheel makes theft all but impossible
7. 
Broken radio tuning knob eliminates potentially deadly distraction of channel surfing
6. 
On long car trips, kids can amuse themselves with family of raccoons nesting in trunk
5. 
The possibility of a car accident seems almost pleasant
4. 
All the cracks in the windshield make it easy to pretend you're driving Spider Man's car
3. 
It's always a good time for a brisk, invigorating walk
2. 
Nonfunctional engines use virtually no gas!
1. 
Forgot where you parked?  It's your lucky day!!
Editor's Note: Having a shitbox myself I find the prospect of a theft not only pleasant but something to look forward to due to the fact that the car is worth nowhere near as much as the insurance co. would give for a theft.
 
 
 

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