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Hate Mail

DATE: Sun, 18 Mar 2001 18:35:29 +1100
FROM: "Andrew"
TO: pulp@tangmonkey.com
SUBJECT: hello

You are fooling youself you know.. "this is not meant to annoy people" , then you go off on a 1/32 baked rave about all those "liberal teachers poisoning the flower of our youth" , if you wanted to alienate half your readers, no better way could have been found..

I suppose rednecks must go to the movies too, but really your opinions are as outdated as your politics... Why dont you go and give you grumpy ol gramps another blowjob, while he tells you all about the good old days when he was crushing commies heads with the pinkertons..

enjoy your circle of friends while you can.. it will be fun till one of the people you put down has a breakdown and kills you all (and kill all the jews, catholics, poofs, druggies, vegetarians, feminists, socialists, soccerplayers and anyone that gives cans of food to the poor - they only breed more.. just acuse everyone that gets past third grade and is a decent human being is a liberal, that doesnt mean anything cause, yes, its their thinking thats wrong, not yours.......

FROM: pulp@tangmonkey.com
TO: "Andrew"
SUBJECT: re:hello

Well then. Do I sense some hostility near the end of that giant run-on sentence you call an email, Andrew? For all my bluster, I don't think I've ever mentioned killing anyone based upon their race, religion, or anything else that's wrong with them, but it's nice to know you're confused enough to confuse my bleary ranting with homicidal impulses. Also, I don't know what issue of PULP you've been reading, but I don't have anything against soccer-players. And need I point out the irony of you making a crack about me performing fellatio when precious misspelled words later you call me a homophobe? No, I suppose not, because unlike any regular reader of PULP who's made it past 10th grade, you don't seem to have developed the sense of humour, irony, sarcasm, and self-parody necessary to enjoy a good healthy dose of the sweet sweet funny. But who am I to judge? I wouldn't want to risk insulting your delicate sensibilities any further, for fear of more poor grammar and hazy rhetoric sent my way. God knows there's enough of that in PULP. So please, feel free to go back to writing angry letters decrying the racist patriarchy of Time or Sesame Street or whatever it is you do, and enjoy this complimentary issue of PULP sent your way.


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