Zebulon, not his real name, was discovered by Sean wandering the streets of Montreal wearing a crudely lettered cardboard sign around his neck reading "will column for food." Despite this sign being an obvious plea for masonry work, Sean took him to TMG Global Headquarters, chained him to a 486 DX66 PC and said, "Write a column or try to play Quake III. Your choice." He's writing his columns while he waits for Quake III to load.
When not writing ridiculous "About the Author" bios or writing his column of questionable merit, Zebulon meanders aimlessly through life trying to find purpose, a girlfriend, a decent cheese sandwich, and a name more ludicrous than "Zebulon." Zebulon lives in the Southeastern United States. Please don't hold that against him.