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8.1.2001 by JP

Countdown to Cottage bash, t-minus 2 days and counting...

As I prepare for my now anual cottage bash this coming weekend I've decided to over-think the whole thing and write a column. Although it won't appear to be especially intellectual, I assure you I've been thinking a wee bit.

"Getting away from it all" --why do we need to "get away"? and from what? We live like kings, eating, sleeping and communicating as we please. We've got two days off a week (most of us at least) in which to enjoy our techno-woderland and yet when the Palm chirps "5pm Friday" we hop in the SUV and head out to the country where we read books by oil-lamps and for some reason our cell-phones won't work? Insanity I say! If observed by space-aliens not accustomed with our way of doing things they'd assume we'd gone off our collective rockers and pillage our empty cities till sunday evening when we'd all get back and be slightly ticked that our houses had been transformed into alien-incubators which would then proceed to burst open, gushing alien-goop all over the SUV which had just been waxed thank you very much.

Anywho, for me, the cottage is a place where I can get away from technology, communications technology at least. The technology that keeps my food from spoiling and that which pops my corn and that which moves me accross the water and the land, these are good technologies. These technologies are allowed at the cottage, they don't act like a hyperactive 5 year old at a swimming pool pleading that someone, anyone, watch him dive. For three days a year, I'd rather not see you dive, you're quite good, I've seen you before, and I'll record any spectacular dives you might accomplish during my absence but for these three days I don't give a damn about you, sorry kid.

What the hell am I talking about? Here's what:

  • Cell-Phones are like a kid who's doesn't know the meaning of pain, he'll dive into the ground no matter where you are but not till he's punched you (and everyone around you) in the groin to get your attention.

  • The Internet and computers have made it into the Olympics and will be deeply offended if you don't watch their crazy-cool dive.

  • Television is like a public wading-pool with 100 of your children poised around it each trying to make you watch them and only them. These children take periodic breaks to try to sell you soda and fabric softner.

  • An anology taken wayyy too far is like a kid going "hey! look at me! I'm like communications technology only not at all!"

See what I'm saying?



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