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The Gold Rush
8.26.2003 by Dan Beirne, every Wednesday.

Nathan Lane comes over every Wednesday to the house to watch a movie, or just chat with Dan. Dan found these little chats so interesting, he decided to tape-record them and tell the world all the neat things Nathan had to say about movies and stuff.

Wednesday, August 5th, two-thousand and cloudy

The Gold Rush (1925): Everybody Tries. Directed by Charlie Chaplin

(Nathan is seated on a throne, me at his feet, lookin' out the window)

Nathan: So, tell me.

Me: Tell you what?

Nathan: What you've been doing?

Me: You want me to complain?

(a car bomb goes off, unnoticed)

Nathan: If you like.

Me: Nah, I'm through complaining.

(Nathan laughs, I'm not sure why)

Nathan: But seriously, about the movie...

Me: Yeah, right, Chaplin's the best.

Nathan: Not so detailed.

Me: He paints on the pathos like peanut butter wallpaper

Nathan: We take and we give, we take and we give.

Me: Yeah, I'd agree with that.

(the iTunes cross-fades Monster Mash and Fake Plastic Trees. My heart does the same)

Nathan: I'd forgotten why those girls never showed up at his party. It turns out they were just assholes.

Me: I imagine myself doing the dinner roll dance at a party. Someone says, "You stole that from Chaplin," and I would reply, "And he stole it from his father, and so on."

Nathan: Add cold water first, then add hot water to warm it up.

Me: You stole that from--

Nathan: I KNOW

(Nathan laughs again, but this time, he's not smiling, just laughing. It's really eerie.)

Me: If you listen to music, the cymbal comes up a lot more than you'd think.

Nathan: Maybe your music.

Me: What do you think Charlie Chaplin listened to?

Nathan: Surely not just classical music or something else so predictable.

Me: Surely.

Nathan: Sure.

Me: Sue.

(a long pause. count it down)

Nathan: Do you think you can 'half' it and win?

Me: Surely not.

Nathan: Yes you do.

Me: But he must have 'half'ed it.

Nathan: Certainly not.

Me: How do you know?

Nathan: Look at me.

Me: But everyone's different.

Nathan: You are just as black as me and Jordan.

Me: Everyone gets there their own way.

Nathan: Maybe not as thin.

Me: I don't know how to 'whole' it.

Nathan: Too bad, left in the dust.

Me: Oh, everyone's dust, I assume?

Nathan: Mine.

Me: You're going to make me--

Nathan: Jordan's.

Me: Please--

Nathan: Choke and die.

Me: You'll die before the year is out.

Nathan: Big words. Words that are Big.

Me: Fall asleep on New Year's Eve-ning.

Nathan: Can't get there on Big Words.

(it's so quiet, you can hear us thinking, but even that's pretty quiet)

as always, you can e-mail Nathan, to talk about movies or just chat about whatever.


'half'ing it: staying small-time, show for your parents, paintings on the sidewalk, etc.

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