Is This Thing On?
About the Co-Authors

Column Archive










Silver Jews
8.7.2003 by Dan Beirne, every Wednesday.


Nathan Lane comes over every Wednesday to the house to watch a movie, or just chat with Dan. Dan found these little chats so interesting, he decided to tape-record them and tell the world all the neat things Nathan had to say about movies and stuff.


Wednesday, July the Augusth, send in the clouds

Silver Jews - a country, blues, rock band that changes poetry into a waterfall, and barrells into public transit.

(the radio is playing a good Silver Jews album, so Nathan and I are just talking while it plays)

Nathan: ..And so I put my profile up, but nobody really contacts you. I don't think anybody really contacts you.

Dan: But you're trying, right? That's the point.

Radio: ...people send people up to the moon...

Nathan: It's so humiliating. It matches you up by proximity right? So I'm matched up with girls that grew up on my street.

Radio: ...when they return, well there isn't much...

Dan: Oh, quiet down. They're people too Nathan, it's all about perspective.

Nathan: How can you say that? That's like telling a cripple that you don't really use your legs that much anyway.

Dan: Well if you want to stay sad, stay sad.

Radio: ...my middle names are wrong and right...

Nathan: Yeah, thanks.

(Nathan's cell phone rings. He uses the juicy fruit song)

Nathan: Hello?

Dan: I'll look at your profile, maybe it needs work.

Nathan: Cynthia, hi!

Radio: ...why can't monsters...

Dan: "I don't know what to say about myself". An original start.

Nathan: Oh, I don't know. I haven't been home for a long time.

Radio: ...get along with other monsters...

Dan: "Everyone wants love". I'm sure the girls love being told what they want.

Nathan: But can we just talk a little? You called me.

Radio: ...in 1984, I was hospitalized for approaching perfection...

Nathan: Well, I could tell you about my week. I didn't get that part, that's something.

Dan: "I don't even like acting that much". Join this winning team, ladies.

Nathan: They said I gave too much.

Radio: ...got two tickets to a midnight execution...

Dan: "Things I have learned from past relationships..."

Nathan: I just want to talk! We haven't talked in a long time!

Dan: "...I feel like I can better myself, feel like I've learned a lot."

Nathan: Oh, so that means we never speak to each other for the rest of our lives?

Radio: ...and the west has a deal with the sun...

Dan: "My ideal first date: Oh, anything's fine by me, even dinner and a movie would be great".

Nathan: Fine! Just forget my number then! And I'll mail you your fucking scarf!

Radio: ...air crickets air crickets air crickets air...

Dan: "I just want to mean something to someone". sigh.

as always, you can e-mail Nathan, to talk about movies or just chat about whatever.

Notes:

Nathan's dating profile



Take a minute to fill out this nice form and give the nice columnist some nice feedback. Our columnists are volunteers, they do this for you, let 'em know you care.
Your message of love:

Your email address (optional):



Disclaimer | Email Us | Dance!
Text, images, design, and our groovy mojo are ©.
return to the top of the page





Warning: require(): http:// wrapper is disabled in the server configuration by allow_url_include=0 in /home/public/columns/includes/footer.php on line 3

Warning: require(http://www.tangmonkey.com/includes/ads.php): Failed to open stream: no suitable wrapper could be found in /home/public/columns/includes/footer.php on line 3

Fatal error: Uncaught Error: Failed opening required 'http://www.tangmonkey.com/includes/ads.php' (include_path='.:/usr/local/php/8.0.30-nfsn2/lib/:/usr/local/php/lib/') in /home/public/columns/includes/footer.php:3 Stack trace: #0 /home/public/columns/106024503540092.php(82): require() #1 {main} thrown in /home/public/columns/includes/footer.php on line 3