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Shanghai Knights
7.30.2003 by Dan Beirne, every Wednesday.

Nathan Lane comes over every Wednesday to the house to watch a movie, or just chat with Dan. Dan found these little chats so interesting, he decided to tape-record them and tell the world all the neat things Nathan had to say about movies and stuff.

Wednesday, July 15, cloudy

Shanghai Knights (2003): When a Chinese rebel murders Chon's estranged father and escapes to England, Chon and Roy make their way to London with revenge on their minds. Starring Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson.

Me: And so was the origin of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Charlie Chaplin, and....action...movies?

Nathan: Your power's out.

(my power was out)

Me: I know.

Nathan: I don't know how they did it, but they managed to cram every joke about being in England into one movie.

Me: I didn't think Stonehenge was even that close to London.

(the Who is playing really softly, but at a really inappropriate time)

Me: Can we talk about something better?

Nathan: I'd say the same thing to you, only I'm not a bastard.

Me: Okay, I get it.

Nathan: There's something worthwhile in every movie, you just have to--

Me: I get it!

Nathan: Tone!

(long silence)

Nathan: Tone!

(long silence)

Me: Sorry.

Nathan: What was the best thing about it?

Me: Owen's vulnerability. It's always so damned touching.

Nathan: Good. But I find he's repeating himself.

Me: Oh, fuck you!

Nathan: Tone!

(long silence)

Nathan: We're finished our review, you found the good in the bad. Now, I have an audition tonight, and I kind of need to get ready. Here, read this.

Me: Am I Amber or Tonia?

Nathan: You're Amber.

Me: Gee, thanks for coming over today.

Nathan: No problem, I was just passing through.

Me: No really. You're a great friend. Especially since what I've been going through with Eric.

Nathan: Oh, don't worry about it, Eric can be really insensitive sometimes.

Me: You know what else is really insensitive? This wool sweater..

Nathan: Oh, here, let me help you with that..

Me: Oh, thanks, you have really soft hands..

Nathan: Aw, that's so sweet. Can I ask you a question?

Me: You can ask me anything.

Nathan: Do you ever want to--

(a car horn from the driveway. and at the exact same moment, the lights come back on)

Nathan: See ya.

Me: Yeah, see ya.

as always, you can e-mail Nathan, to talk about movies, or just chat about whatever.

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