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The Wicker Man
6.25.2003 by Dan Beirne, every Wednesday.

Nathan Lane comes over every Wednesday to the house to watch a movie, or just chat with Dan. Dan found these little chats so interesting, he decided to tape-record them and tell the world all the neat things Nathan had to say about movies and stuff.

Wednesday, in June, two thousand and cloudy

The Wicker Man (1973): Police Sgt. Howie, of the Scottish mainland, receives an anonymous letter from the offshore community of Summerisle, asking him to investigate the disappearance of a young girl there.

(I'm visiting Nathan in prison)

Nathan: I'm in a farmhouse, I'm in a farmhouse..-oh, hey, Dan. I thought you were a prostitute?

Me: Are you all right, man?

Nathan: What do you want?

(there's a sign on the wall that reads, "all conversations will be tape recorded")

Me: I thought we could watch a movie.

Nathan: What do you got?

Me: I've got The Wicker Man and Charlie's Angels.

Nathan: All they watch in here is Charlie's Angels, so let's go Wicked Man.

Me: Um, okay.

Nathan: And let's make it quicker, man, we don't have long.

(during the movie you can hear clicks and giggles, they're all coming from Nathan)

Nathan: Well, thanks Dan. Now I wish you were a prostitute.

Me: I talked to Cynthia the other day.

Nathan: You take that back!

Me: Sorry I take it back. Interesting, though, eh?

(the clock struck three)

Nathan: I don't want to talk about that movie.

Me: Ok...

Nathan: And I'm still mad at you.

Me: So I guess I'll talk about it then.

Nathan: I'm in a grocery store, and they're playing live music.

Me: It was a strange piece...

Nathan: I'm flying over a green hazy field at twilight.

Me: But strange as it was, I found a certain cohesiveness of mood.

Nathan: Sewers exploding endless garbage. But on cue.

Me: I didn't feel it was just craziness for its own sake, you know? Like it had a purpose.

Nathan: I'm the passenger in a Suzuki Swift. The most enormous girl is driving in a tank top.

(you can hear a muffled scream. it was either a prisoner being tortured down the hall, or the White Stripes concert going on outside)

Me: It seems like a such an easy movie to hate, yet no one who sees it really hates it...

Nathan: Single mother dragging a bored-looking girl by her hair.

Me: ..Or at least that's the way it seems.

Nathan: I watched him. I could tell he was trying to think of something clever to say.

Me: Am I making any sense?

Nathan: Let's get one thing straight. It means no worries.

Me: No, I'm not.

(the warden opens the door)

My mom: Time's up, Lane.

Nathan: Yeah. Yeah, I know.

Me: Good luck.

Nathan: Don't talk to me. Let's not talk.

Me: Right. Sometimes it feels forced, doesn't it?

Nathan: When they're not laughing, they're not laughing.

as always, you can e-mail Nathan to talk about movies or just chat about whatever.


Wake up before 10
eat a good breakfast (yeah, right)
get things ready in general
go outside
make that cd

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