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Get Over It
5.21.2003 by Dan Beirne, every Wednesday.

Nathan Lane comes over every Wednesday to the house to watch a movie, or just chat with Dan. Dan found these little chats so interesting, he decided to tape-record them and tell the world all the neat things Nathan had to say about movies and stuff.

Dan went out of town to New York City to see his uncle get married to an American woman. He also participated in a family “fun run” in Central Park. He asked me to chill with Nathan…I said no. Then he told me he’d buy me a sandwich when he got back so I said yes.

My name is Joe, and he has yet to buy me the sandwich.

My tape recorder isn’t very good (Dan has a mini disc I just have one of those old school mini reporter-type ones) so the tape kept cutting out in bad places. I don’t remember exactly what got cut so you might as well fill in the blanks yourself. I’ve provided a pre column chart. That way it’ll be funny like a Mad Lib.

So print this out now and make it easier on everyone.

Get Over It (2001): In a loose adaptation of Shakespeare’s "A Midsummer Night’s Dream", a teenager tries to win back his ex-girlfriend by auditioning for a high school drama production. Starring Kirsten Dunst, Ben Foster, Colin Hanks, Shane West, Martin Short, Carmen Electra, and Sisqo. Directed by Tommy O’Haver.

Adjective ____________________
Noun ____________________
Adverb ____________________
Location ____________________
Adjective ____________________
Food ____________________
Adverb ____________________
Body Part ____________________
Adjective ____________________
Verb ____________________
Noun ____________________
Mode of Transportation ________________

Me: I really like your movies. They’re really ___________ (adjective).

Nathan: Please, I’m trying to pay attention.

Me: I also liked when you would go on Rosie O’Donnel’s T.V. show and sing show tunes.

Nathan: Please! I really liked how the director used a giant musical __________ (noun) to start the movie. It was absolutely invigorating to see all those people dancing so __________ (adverb).

Me: I think I liked it when you did "An English Teacher" from Bye Bye Birdie. That show is really good. You know they’re taking it on tour. The first stop is __________ (location).

Nathan: You’re really making me uncomfortable. Dan doesn’t talk about this kind of stuff. He usually just talks about how black people have more fun than white people. It’s really quite __________ (adjective).

Me: I’m sorry. I could do that if you wanted.

Nathan: Don’t worry, let’s just watch.

Me: Okay. I brought some _________ (food). We can eat it during the movie.

Nathan: OOOOOOh!

(Nathan has me feed it to him as if we were feeding each other non-sexual wedding cake)

Me: How do you feel about Martin Short. He makes me giggle _________ (adverb).

(Nathan is silent.)

Me: His __________ (body part) is just hysterical.

(Nathan is silent)

Me: In this film he delivers a ___________ (adjective) performance.

(Nathan begins to get visibly upset)

Me: I wish I could ___________ (verb) with him all day long.

(Nathan crushes the Pepsi Twist can he was drinking from)

Me: They should give him the Oscar for best _________ (noun).

(Nathan leaves)

Me: Nathan?

(I don’t think Diana was even here yet. At least I didn’t hear her honk)

Me: How you getting home? You can take my ___________ (mode of transportation).

(When I thought about it now, I guess Nathan was jealous about how much I liked Martin Short. I guess there’s only so much room for sorta gay, musical theater-loving, comedians)

as always, you can e-mail Nathan, or you can check my new column on a different website, called, completely coincidentally, Waiting With Martin.


Bye Bye Birdie: The Nation's number one singing sensation has just been drafted into the Army. Good thing there’s time for One Last Kiss.

Pepsi Twist (2001): Original Pepsi but with a hint of lemon.

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