A Quirky, Edgy, Laugh-a-Minute, Roller-Coaster Thrill-Ride
About the Co-Authors

Column Archive










The Party
11.13.2002 by Dan Beirne, every Wednesday.


Nathan Lane comes over every Wednesday to the house to watch a movie, or just chat with Dan. Dan found these little chats so interesting, he decided to tape-record them and tell the world all the neat things Nathan had to say about movies and stuff.


Wednesday, September 18, cloudy

The Party (1963) Peter Sellers stars in this comedy about Hrundi V. Bakshi, the most bumbling Indian actor in history. Accidentally invited to a posh Hollywood party, Hrundi V. Bakshi arrives and hilarity follows.

Me: So what did you do this weekend?

Nathan: Crap, what time is it?

Me: Uh, it's about four.

Nathan: Geez, that's long, eh?

Me: Yeah, it's like 2 hours.

Nathan: Felt like forever.

Me: Yeah, it's really slow.

Nathan: No kidding. Did you like it?

Me: Yeah, I really liked it.

Nathan: Is that because you like Peter Sellers, or do you actually think that was a good movie?

Me: No I actually like it.

Nathan: Hmm..

Me: So what did you do this weekend?

Nathan: I don't think that's really true, you know? I mean, everything's based on something, and you can't just discount how much you like other movies when you say you like something. I mean, all your experience adds up to your judgement of something, in this case, The Party.

(muffled Kylie Menogue can be heard from the neighbours next door. They blast that song all the time.)

Me: Yeah, I guess you're right.

Nathan: Of course. I mean, I don't mean like, "Of course, I'm the best." But of course, because it just makes logical sense.

Me: Well you asked me the question.

Nathan: Cause I didn't really like it. It was too slow. And just became ridiculous.

Me: Oh, yeah, that's true. It does get pretty ridiculous.

(something that sounds like muffled screams. I don't remember those from the Kylie Menogue song.)

Nathan: Yeah..

Me: So what did you do this weekend?

Nathan: Oh, I was at the Toronto Film Festival.

Me: Oh, really? Awesome. What did you see?

Nathan: I saw a few. I saw, like, well, it sounds weird, but it's called Bubba Ho-tep.

Me: Bubba Ho-tech?

Nathan: No, TEP.

Me: Oh, Bubba ho-TEP?

Nathan: Yeah.

Me: So what's it about?

(pause for about thirty seconds. Nathan sighs about three times.)

Nathan: Well, it's about Elvis. And he lives in a senior's home. With a guy who thinks he's JFK.

Me: JFK?

Nathan: Yeah. And they fight a mummy.

Me: A mummy?

Nathan: Yeah.

Me: Oh...

Nathan: Yeah.

Me: Okay.

Nathan: Yeah.

Me: So was it good?

Nathan: Yeah, it was, it was pretty funny. And the actor was there and everything. You know, the guy from Army of Darkness?

Me: Oh, yeah, he's great. Did he say anything cool?

Nathan: Yeah, one guy asked before the movie if there were any boobs in the movie and he said only you, sir.

Me: Wait, what?

Nathan: Nothing. Forget about it. What did you do this weekend?

(a car beeps outside. And at the same moment, the music goes off next door.)

Nathan: Ope, see you later.

Me: Yeah, see you man.

(I watched Nathan get in the van. His aunt waved to me. My neighbour put a big garbage bag at the end of his driveway. That was weird because garbage day wasn't for another three days.)

Me: Man, I want to see that.

As always, you can e-mail Nathan at hakunamattata69@hotmail.com if you want to talk about movies, or just talk about whatever.

Notes:

Bubba Ho-tep (2002) Elvis is alive and not-so-well and living in a rest home. Allied with another senior who believes he is John F. Kennedy, the two fight off an evil mummy who has come to terrorize the rest home. Starring Bruce Campbell, Ossie Davis, and directed by Don Coscarelli

Army of Darkness (1993) Ash is back and this time he's in another dimension. Fighting deadites, and winning ladies, Ash makes this ride one we'll never forget. Starring Bruce Campbell and directed by Sam Raimi



Take a minute to fill out this nice form and give the nice columnist some nice feedback. Our columnists are volunteers, they do this for you, let 'em know you care.
Your message of love:

Your email address (optional):



Disclaimer | Email Us | Dance!
Text, images, design, and our groovy mojo are ©.
return to the top of the page





Warning: require(): http:// wrapper is disabled in the server configuration by allow_url_include=0 in /home/public/columns/includes/footer.php on line 3

Warning: require(http://www.tangmonkey.com/includes/ads.php): Failed to open stream: no suitable wrapper could be found in /home/public/columns/includes/footer.php on line 3

Fatal error: Uncaught Error: Failed opening required 'http://www.tangmonkey.com/includes/ads.php' (include_path='.:/usr/local/php/8.0.30-nfsn2/lib/:/usr/local/php/lib/') in /home/public/columns/includes/footer.php:3 Stack trace: #0 /home/public/columns/103716984315740.php(82): require() #1 {main} thrown in /home/public/columns/includes/footer.php on line 3