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Last Column Ever!
6.19.2002 by JP

I know this must seem sudden but I've been feeling this way for a while and nothing you can say will change my mind. I know you love me, I love you too but that's not the point, we've grown in different ways, grown apart.

It's Over, I hope we can still be friends. It's not you, it's me, I can't commit. I used to look forward to our time together but now it just feels like a chore. You must have noticed my lack of motivation in the past, I had to go through the motions for you (though sometimes I wouldn't even bother to do that).

I've collected some of your stuff in a box here, come by sometime and pick it up, it's just some CDs, a pair of socks, some duct tape and your half of the cat (I'm keeping the head and that's final!).

Ok, enough of that. Here's the scoop, BLAG is over, done, fini. I've been doing it weekly for over a year (odd then that this is my 28th column eh?) and I just don't have it in me anymore. In retrospect I should have stuck with the original interview format but that fell through for a variety of reasons. If anyone out there would like to revive the proud tradition of weekly interviews here at Tangmonkey (under a new banner of course) please drop me a line. Once I stopped doing interviews we went through a few interesting phases didn't we? Random crap/rants, comics, photo albums... I really think a few of those columns were great but then many were crapalicious. I've learned that without a focal point these columns are truly difficult to write on a weekly basis, hats off to those who have kept to their schedules better than I.

All that being said I won't be gone from the Tangmonkey Columns scene for long, my new column; “FOOD” will premiere next wednesday, you'll never guess what it's all about! Actually I'm going to try to keep from becoming a predictably pretentious foodie by swearing and making off-colour jokes all the time, I'll be the Howard Stern of internet food-writing! Well, maybe not, but it'll be good, trust me! If anyone would like to contribute the odd article to “Food” I'd be happy to take any submissions or suggestions at the usual email address. Eventually “Food” will become a full-fleged section here at Tangmonkey at which point there will be the possibility of more weekly columns about food by you! The fedgling foodies!

Until next week, um... (time for the big catch phrase)

“Keep on eating! Otherwise you'll DIE!”

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