Chapter 11: Dead Sea-ing Things
4.21.2002 Edited by , every Sunday.
As Bjorn strolled in the front door of the convention center he was greeted by a nice little ninja who said “excuse me sir where is you black costume and belt”.
“Um… well I left them at home” Bjorn said as he noticed that every one there was wearing a black jump suit with hoods and had belts of various colours.
“The invitation said it was a black tie affaire. But you can borrow one if you wish. Now I need to know what belt you are”.
“I’m a...” Looking around Bjorn tried to decide what belt he should get. He saw a blue one and went with that. “Blue belt”.
The ninja went into the back of the coat check area. Bjorn started to think to himself, What the hell am I doing here, I’m no ninja, What if they ask me to fight somebody?
“Here is your costume, we will need it back at the end of the convention, you can go take a seat at the table of your choice the convention will begin in about 5 minutes.”
Bjorn proceeded into the large convention hall and took a seat at one of the many round tables where he noticed that a snack was served. He started munching on them. Bjorn thought to himself, Hey these are pretty good they are not quite chips and they aren’t quite crackers. Bjorn said to the ninja next to him “Hey, these things are very good”.
The ninja replied angrily, “Of course they are good they have been ninja food for many generations.
Then a ninja with a black belt was up on stage and announced “to begin this great convention of the ninjas I need everyone to come down to the dance floor.” Every one got up and proceeded to the front dance floor. Bjorn followed so he would not look out of place. “DJ Ninja master take it away” yelled the announcer very enthusiastically and jumped with a huge ninja leap onto the dance floor.
The DJ put on Everybody Loves Kung Foo Fighting. And the place went wild. Ninjas were jumping and kicking and doing all sorts of moves and Bjorn was in the middle of it. Bjorn tried to fit in and it went well for a while.
That was until he smelt through the crowd a familiar hair care product. As well as the urge to herbal, there was a fear that crept into Bjorn’s heart. Then he saw it, it was the mysterious figure from chapter 2. “Oh skittles!” Bjorn said, “That guy is friends with the midget Mcnoh-something. I had better use my ninja skills and disappear.”
Bjorn darted of through the crowd assuming he would lose the big oaf. But every time he looked back he was still there. Realizing that he was not a ninja and that he had snuck into this convention Bjorn made a run for the closed door.
Bjorn opened the door and bunch of female ninjas looked at him, screamed, and ran out of the washroom in a stereotypical fashion. The large man that was pursuing him walked in the door and looked in. Bjorn realized that there was no escape. Just as this menacing figure was upon him Bjorn remembered his time traveling pills. He popped one and was off.
Seconds Later Bjorn found himself floating in the middle of large body of water. Why am I floating Bjorn though to himself, then he tasted the water, it was very salty. “Well I must be some where in the dead sea. I had better start swimming if I wan to get out of here”.
So Bjorn started to swim. After a little while he thought he saw a large boat in the sea. He thought to himself, It must be a hallucination from playing to much Mario three as a kid. But the boat kept getting closer and closer and soon it was right next to him. Bjorn could smell a terrible stench coming from the boat as if the manure from every sort of animal was being carried on that boat.
A man looked over the side of the boat. He was wearing a simple robe and had a long white hair and a long white beard. The man said in a booming voice “I am Noah and this is my god-blessed time traveling arc. And I am here to save you from drowning.”
Bjorn replied “This is the dead sea it would be pretty hard to drown out here.”
“Oh then I am here to save you from the monsters of the sea”
“Um Noah as I said before this is the Dead Sea, all the sea monsters are dead.”
“But Bjorn Lincoln I am here to save you, you must need some sort of assistance.”
“Well” Bjorn replied “you could save me a long swim by taking me to shore”.
“Excellent! Hop aboard, my friend”. Noah said and assisted Bjorn aboard his arc. “Now where would you like to go? This is a god-blessed time traveling arc so I can take you anywhere in any time.”
By Mackenzie Larwill