About the Author

Column Archive










Photo Album #5
3.28.2002 by JP


This week was pretty hurtin’ in the photo department, that’s why the column is a day late and the photos kinda shitty. I even went so far as to bring my camera to school. Ugh… school, I’m just about ready for summer, aren’t you? My apologies to those of you who have to do actual work at school, poor bastards…


My week starts Tuesday morning at 8am; we’ve got a 3-hour demo of what we’ll be cooking the next day in lab. This week: Delicious Spring Lamb! Basically this is like a cooking show only they don’t skip the boring bits and our teacher has less exciting catchphrases like “SIMMER people…” and “FINE dice people…”. (Of course these were just his catchphrases during our module on cannibalism).


It’s hard to stay awake at 8am, we actually had to wake this guy at the end of class.


The next day at 8am we had to make this. Rack of lamb with garlic/rosemary crust, lamb chops with gravy, patates dauphine and ratatouille. I forgot to take a picture of mine before I disassembled it so this is a shot of one of my classmate’s. She got 85% and I got 90% so try to imagine this only 5% better.


Ok, this is a bit out of sequence but here’s Chef Lawson marking our food, he’s a bastard. He once took off 10 marks because I hadn’t shaved. Gah, the reason I went into cooking was so I could hide my ugly mug in the kitchen. (along with my ugly saucer and ugly spoon). Sorry I don't have any shots of the actual cooking process but I was kinda busy cooking at the time.


Here are a couple of my classmates (Shawn and Matt) displaying the morning’s kill. The best part of cooking school is getting to eat your assignments, sure you can do that in university but lamb is much tastier than a 10-page essay. That night I went to Josh’s and we feasted on lamb, Josh is a pretty light eater so I ended up eating about a rack and a half myself, ugh… too much lamb…


Friday night Josh and I took to the streets and checked out the Danforth, an area of Toronto I’d never seen. It’s actually much nicer than this photo might suggest, I took it before we hit the “good stuff”.


The “good stuff” consisted of this 5-lane bowling alley hidden away in the basement of a strip-mall. Have you ever bowled in an empty bowling alley? It’s really creepy. Josh and I are terrible bowlers, our lowest scoring game was 70 to 75 for him. I think the guy behind the counter was laughing at us.


On our walk back from bowling towards downtown we crossed the Bloor Viaduct, second only to the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco the viaduct is host to a suicide every 22 days. The view over the edge was really creepy late at night, yuck.


Also on the way back we passed a church with this sign... I don’t get it.


Last night I went to the Eels show at Lee’s Palace with Emily, Rob, Kelly and some other folks from York. Good god this show was good, 3 encores. This dude’s name is “E” and he’s the lead singer, kinda reminds me of Ash with his skinny arms, pale complexion and massive beard.


This is a really shitty shot I was hoping would come out better, it’s Butch the drummer singing “I Am a Sad Clown”. Butch rocks! Emily said she’d leave me for him given the opportunity… I think I would too. (oh and his t-shirt said “I kiss boys”, guess you’re stuck with me Em…).


The Tangmonkey Group moved into its new offices today, seriously, stop by and I’ll give you a tour. (or maybe I’ll just club you and steal your wallet for food money).

That’s it for this week kiddies, hopefully next week will be more exciting or I’ll have to resort to photos of amateur solo-porn.




Disclaimer | Email Us | Dance!
Text, images, design, and our groovy mojo are ©
return to the top of the page