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The Internet Isn't Just For Seriousness Any More!
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Chapter 3: Into the Mud
2.2.2002 Edited by , every Sunday.
Bjorn Shut his eyes just before he felt the grip of the pill McNoHart forced upon him. As it took effect, Bjorn felt tugging on his insides like he was traveling very fast for an extremely short period of time then, just as suddenly as it came upon him it disappeared. Bjorn had still not opened his eyes, but he could tell he was no longer at the FDA office in Washington. For one he was all wet now because it was raining and there was a constant thunder around him. That he could not explain.
He opened his eyes to find that he was in the middle of a battlefield and he was being fired upon from either side. Bjorn immediately hit the deck until he could figure out what to do. He looked at what he had and he still had the huge bag of tiny pills that were the colour of a box of crayons melted together.
"Shit!" Bjorn said to himself, “What am I going to do with these? I had better keep them with me because I have no idea where the hell I am." He put the pills in several of his pockets, as they wouldn't all fit in one.
Danger was all about Bjorn as the guns continued roaring. I had better get to safety, Bjorn thought to himself. He looked around and saw a trench off in the distance. I will head for that, he decided. But I have to show them I am not the enemy… who ever they are.
Bjorn started crawling towards the trench slowly, trying to think of how he could show him that he was not the enemy. When he had reached about 500 meters from the trench he thought of a brilliant idea. "My grandma always told me that the most important thing to wear was a pear of clean white underwear. I will just rip them off and wave it to show them that I mean them no harm".
As he approached Bjorn waved his underwear and a soldier spotted him and brought him into the trenches.
"Who the hell are you and what in Gods name are you doing out in no man’s land"
"Well" Bjorn said not sure what to say, "ummmm…"
The soldier interrupted "Well you'd better go see the Captain. He'll sort this out". The soldier took him to the captain and told him that Bjorn was out in no man’s land.
The Captain replied, "Well we have a soldier here who was left out in no man’s land, I guess. What happened? Did you get lost on the way up to the front? And why in the hell aren't you in uniform?"
Bjorn looked at him for a minute and then replied slowly "I got lost before I got outfitted Captain"
"Well… We will get you equipped and you can be in my brigade until we find out were you are supposed to be".
A few minutes later Bjorn found himself changed into army fatigues and equipped like the rest of the soldiers in the trench. He transferred all the pills that he had put in his suit pocket into his bag that he had been given. He also found the three pills that he had been given to test that morning in his pocket. He sat there looking at them. They were all gel capsule-style pills. One was a dark blue colour, one was bright yellow, and the other purple. As he looked at them he couldn't help but think how they would probably come to save his life.
"Hey buddy what are those?" a fellow soldier said to Bjorn, startling him.
"Ah… Nothing," Bjorn replied, stuffing them away in his pocket.
"Do you wanna smoke" The soldier lit one and offered one to Bjorn.
"No thanks, those thing will kill you ya know"
"Not as fast as the bullets buddy. By the way, my name is Jackson," he said as he put the package of cigarettes back in his pocket.
"Bjorn" replied Bjorn as he shook Jackson's hands.
"I overheard some of the officers saying that the attack on the German line is tomorrow, I can't wait to kill me some more krauts. Maybe I'll even get the Kaiser."
"There's an attack tomorrow?" Bjorn replied, growing slightly concerned.
"Yep. The artillery has been softening them up for days." Jackson took a long drag on his cigarette and said, "I am going to see if I can get some rest in this hellhole before the battle tomorrow. I'll see you later Bjorn". Jackson treaded of down the trench with the cigarette in has mouth.
Bjorn spent that night scared out of his wits. He had never fired a gun before. He was in the middle of world war two about to go into battle without any training. When Bjorn finally found a way to sleep through the constant explosions of the artillery and the cold dampness he only got a short restless sleep.
He was awoken early in the morning, fed his rations, and was told that the attack would be at 0800 hours. They were to charge the enemy lines and take the next ridge by nightfall.
After a short wait, the order was given to charge and Bjorn's army-issue white underwear were certainly a little brown. The shit had been scared right out of him. All the other soldiers were jumping out of the trench and running at the enemy line. Bjorn finally found enough courage to jump out and run with the others. After a few strides the German machine guns started to fire and men were falling down dead all over the place. Bullets were whizzing by his head, but Bjorn just kept on running.
As the troops approached the enemy line they all started firing. Bjorn raised his gun looked down the barrel and started to fall to the ground. When he hit the ground everything went black.
Bjorn was not shot, but when he tried fire his gun he tripped over one of his comrades and hit his head hard against the corpse’s helmet. It knocked him out cold. The only thing that saved him from drowning in the mud was that he fell on top of the corpse.
Hours later, when Bjorn came to he was in a prison cell at a train station, where he saw Germans putting people on the cars. It was only a matter of time before he would be sent put on a train car probably bound for a POW camp.
Bjorn thought to himself, how the hell am I going to get myself out of this one...
By Mac Larwill
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