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Back from Where I've Been
1.16.2002 by JP

It’s been a while since we talked, hasn’t it? Four months to be exact, that’s sixteen columns I should have written and sixteen that I didn’t. I’m so sorry, please forgive me. Maybe if I tell you about all the exciting adventures I had while I wasn’t writing columns it’ll help you understand and with understanding perhaps the healing can begin.


Mad cottage bash #2 was loads of fun, 150 beers worth to be exact. The weekend was punctuated by the annual breaking of the boat (two for two!), scary black smoke coming from the barbecue area, late-night rounds of “the penis game” as well as the following exchange yelled between myself and Christie’s boyfriend Shawn at 1am:

JP: How do you sodomize me?
Shawn: Brutaly!

It should be noted here that no actual sodomy occurred over the course of the weekend (that I know of).


Got a haircut, moved into a tiny little room in Toronto (pictured below), started school at George Brown College in the exciting field of Food and Beverage Management. Got a job as a waiter at Movenpick with my friend Josh, quit two weeks later, never want to be a waiter ever again, increased tipping by 1%.

My Room
(My Room)


Started dating my girlfriend Emily after being stood up three or four times. Persistance paid off and I won her heart (she later won it back in a game of blackjack along with my bicycle and my shoes). Started working at “Oyster Boy” as garde-manger, free beer and good wage offset by constant mocking from friends, aquaintaces and family.


Can’t remember much of this month, I think I spent it working and going to school accompanied by weekend love-ins with my special lady friend. Some time also spent mourning for our country’s lost soldiers. I also hit the back of a car on my bike and spent most of the next few days in a bit of a daze. I may have gone to Montreal and visited Sean this month also, lovely visit from what I remember, sure hope the old bike accident isn’t affecting my memory…


Took a month off from Oyster Boy for Christmas break, called them a week later and quit completely, heavy courseload next term procludes working even 2 nights a week. Switching to Culinary Mangement program next term, turns out Food and Beverage is actually Waitering 101. I’ve gotta cook, turns out I love it. Got a whole mess of cookbooks and accessories for Christmas, as well as a subscription to Bon Apettit magazine, now I have all the tools I need to become a big giant food geek. Emily is in Haiti this month visiting her dad the Canadian ambassador, I miss her, many mushy gross emails are exchanged. Trip to Mont Tremblant for a few days with the family, snowboarding and relaxing by he fire, I bake bread, a good time is had by all. My butt hurts. New Year’s Eve, big party at Steph’s house, Josh and Kelly came down from around Toronto for the occasion, Emily is back, I make tapinade and moroccan chickpea flatbread.


Back to school, my schedule is a nightmare, they haven’t properly switched me into the new program, I spend most of the first week back trying to fix things. I love my new classes, so much cooking! Emily got me a little ceramic boat from Haiti which is really cool, I made her some candy and a mixtape. Dave worked on the Tangmonkey redesign a whole bunch while I watched over ICQ. I called home and asked for money, a lot of it.

And that’s how I spent the last 6 months, I hope I didn’t leave anything important out, tho I probably did. Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about my future restaurant, the one I’ll open a while after I graduate as soon as I can secure funding and enough experience to make a go of it. Next week I’ll try to paint you a mental image of what it’ll look, feel and taste like.

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