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Andy M.'s 2003 Book List
1.12.2004 by , every Tuesday.
Sorry, no stories this week, but soon you will be able to purchase a 100% quality book of stories brought to you in part by Kinko's. Stay tuned!
Last New Year's, a friend of mine resolved to read 52 books. She wound up reading 64. I liked her book list so much that I decided to post it. Here is talented freelancer Andrea M.'s rockin' 2003 literary journey (with comments!)
The reply form at the bottom of this page isn't working, so send comments here.
1. How To Be Good - Nick Hornby Dear Nick: I think you're dreamy.
2. A Child's Book of True Crime - Chloe Hooper Dear Chloe: Your mix of fiction of non-fiction (or seeming mix) was tittilating. Delightful!
3. The Autograph Man - Zadie Smith Dear Miss Smith: What the fuck happened?
4. Mister Sandman - Barbara Goudy Barbara: Essentially, you wrote a movie, in a book. Sort of disappointing.
5. Twenty-Six - Leo McKay Jr. Dear Leo: Can I call Leo? I suppose I can, since we had coffee, and I interviewed you for a story. I thought you wrote an important book. Bravo.
6. First Fieldwork - Barbara Gallatin Anderson Dear Barbara: I bought this book for 50 cents because the dedication said "To Andrea, the intrepid". It ended up being quite lovely. I probably would pay a whole dollar for it, in retrospect.
7. Fear And Loathing in Las Vegas - Hunter S. Thompson Dear Mr. Thompson: Your head is messy. Are you happy now?
8. The Fifth Morningside Papers - ed. Peter Gzowski Dear Peter: It's sad that you died. It's neat that they put out these books though. Canada is cool.
9. Grey - Judy MacDonald Judy: Though overall I found your book a bit tiring, a couple of your stories were downright brilliant. And I liked the cover.
10. The Tesseract - Alex Garland Dear Mr. Garland: See #3. I loved The Beach. What was this nonsense about?
11. The Rules of Attraction - Bret Easton Ellis Dear Mr. Ellis: You are quite possibly mentally ill. But you take risks. I like that.
12. Anchoress - Esta Spalding Dear Esta: Thank you for writing this book. It is amazing.
13. Losing It - Alan Cumyn Dear Alan: I think we all could have lived without this book. It wasn’t bad, but, well, let’s be honest: it wasn’t good, either.
14. The Girl’s Guide To Hunting and Fishing - Melissa Banks Dear Melissa: I like this book, but you already knew that. Why do you have to be such a one-hit wonder?
15. Shopaholic Ties The Knot - Sophie Kinsella Dear Sophie: My roommate finds it stressful to read your books because she doesn’t understand how someone can let their finances get so out of control. I find it stressful to read them because all I can think is “Ooh! I need a new and very expensive scarf, too!”
16. Cat’s Crossing - Bill Cameron Dear Bill: You picked my favourite subject–cats–and still mucked it up. Stick to journalism, whydontcha.
17. Speak The Truth, Laughing - Rose Zwi Dear Rose: I think these stories are what one refers to as ‘compelling’. Good job.
18. The Crash of Hennington - Patrick Ness Dear Patrick: I have a giant literary crush on you. Why don’t you bring your bad self on down to Nova Scotia?
19. Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy - Douglas Adams 20. The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe - Douglas Adams 21. Life, The Universe, And Everything - Douglas Adams 22. So Long And Thanks For All The Fish - Douglas Adams 23. Mostly Harmless - Douglas Adams Dear Mr. Adams: Surely, you have created modern classics. Surely, it’s not right for me to have such a crush on a robot.
24. White Noise - Don Delillo Dear Don: Just as good the fourth time as the first. Why don’t I enjoy any of your other books?
25. The Neverending Story - Michael Ende Dear Michael: I am mad at you. Your story did, in fact, end. That made me sad.
26. Concrete Forest - ed. Hal Niedzvieki Dear Hal: I think you’re swell, don’t get me wrong. But Canadian Urban Fiction scares the bejesus out of me.
27. Slumber Party - Christopher Pike 28. Last Act - Christopher Pike 29. Master of Murder - Christopher Pike 30. Road To Nowhere - Christopher Pike 31. Monster - Christopher Pike 32. The Wicked Heart - Christopher Pike 33. The Immortal - Christopher Pike 34. Gimme A Kiss - Christopher Pike Dear Christopher, or should I say, Kevin: Your books still rock my free world. Also: keep on rocking me, baby.
35. Sabbath’s Theatre - Phillip Roth Dear Phillip: Never, when I’m reading, am I so sure I’m actually reading a thinly-veiled portrayal of the author. Is it true? Are you really such a schmuck?
36. Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix - JK Rowling Dear Ms Rowling: This was not a 700 page book. Get an editor. Also, 45 bucks for a kids’ book?
37. Bluebeard’s Egg - Margaret Atwood Margaret! How excited I was to find I enjoyed your short-stories. I always felt like a bad Canadian, not liking your novels. Please write more short stories.
38. The Virgin Suicides - Jeffrey Eugenides Dear Jeff: You did something very interesting with this book, and still managed to tell a good story. Please tell your secret to McSweeneys.
39. A Readers’ Manifesto - BR Myers Dear Mr. Myers: You are a bitter, bitter man. I agree with you in some areas, but mostly I find you a bitter, bitter man.
40. Angel - Marian Keyes Marian: The usual. But that’s okay, because that’s what I come to you wanting. So, uh, good job.
41. The Man Who Loved Only Numbers - Paul Hoffman Dear Paul: This biography was quite nice, though it convinced me that I was secretly a mathematical genius. Was that your intention?
42. Me Talk Pretty One Day - David Sedaris David, meet Joey. He is a hundred times funnier than you. I don’t get your success. Oh well. Good for you, I guess.
43. American Gods - Neil Gaiman Dear Neil: I don’t even like science-fiction. And yet – and yet.
44. Ramona And Her Father - Beverly Cleary Dear Bev: Normally, I reread kids’ book and find them disappointing. Yours are even better than I remember. Hurray!
45. Ella Minnow Pea - Mark Dunn Mark: If nothing else, I admire your patience. I have already passed your book along to someone who will appreciate it more than I did.
46. Less Than Zero - Bret Easton Ellis Dear Mr Ellis: I am still just as convinced that you are mentally unstable. Oddly, I cannot remember a single detail about this book.
47. The Eyre Affair - Jasper Fforde Dear Mr. Fforde: You were kind of a loser in school, weren’t you? I can tell.
48. The Life of Pi - Yann Martel Dear Yann: I tried to convince my boss to fly my to Saskatoon so I could see you. Does that worry you? Your book was fantastic. I love books that can still surprise me.
49. The Black Book - Ian Rankin Dear Ian: How many nights have I stayed up too late finishing one of your books? Too many. TOO MANY.
50. Them - Jon Ronson Dear Jon: How do you live? Are you not just a bundle of nerves now? You know they’re going to get you. You know they know where you live.
51. Gentlemen Prefer Blondes - Anita Loos Dear Anita: Does it bother you that no one even knows your book exists? That Marilyn Monroe got famous and you didn’t? If it makes you feel any better, I tell everyone about it. I tell them how great it is.
52. Death By Television - Ian Johnston Ian: Well, at least you tried. I mean, they can’t all be winners.
53. Bird By Bird - Anne Lamott Dear Anne: You are possibly the cutest person ever. Your book is possibly the cutest book ever. That is all.
54. She’s Come Undone - Wally Lamb Dear Wally: I used to love this book and now I have mixed feelings about it. What were you thinking when you wrote it? What do you really think about women?
55. The Art of the Playwright - Somebody Somebody Dear Person: Um. Good job, I guess. Yes, much useful playwrighting stuff in here.
56. All Families Are Psychotic - Douglas Coupland Dear Doug: You almost never disappoint me. Also, way to go with the pink spine. Very pretty.
57. Island: Shipwreck - Gordon Korman 58. Island: Survival - Gordon Korman 59. Island: Escape - Gordon Korman Dear Gordon: Stick to comedy, k? Also, we have so been there done that with the whole island thing.
60. The World According To Garp - John Irving Dear Mr. Irving: I really enjoyed our time together. I hope to see a lot more of you in 2004.
61. Of Cats And Kings - Claire De Vries Dear Claire: You are my cat-loving, trip-making, book-writing hero. If I didn’t love you so much, I would hate you. Call me!
62. Bag of Bones - Stephen King Dear Steve: Your books make the best paperbacks. Also, the best blunt instruments. Yes.
63. Bridges With Spirit - Adam Voith Dear Adam: You are pretty but cryptic. I’m not sure how I feel about that.
64. Hearts In Atlantis - Stephen King Dear Steve: I like you when you do different things like this. Care for a game of hearts?
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