Carrot Top
August 3, 2001

RANT #85: Arts & Entertainment
Penny Lane
Summary: The Devil Incarnate has started doing commercials. When will his pathetic career end???
Full Text:

He's done it again. The zany comedian who needs props to be funny is now making idiotic 1-800-CALL-ATT commercials, the last resort for many an actor with a dying career. Carrot Top is clearly evil. If his flaming red curls aren't enough to convince you, consider his abrasive Florida-accented voice or his puny chicken legs. His "comedy" is simply a combination of bad puns and stupid props. I'd prefer to drench myself with honey and walk naked through an ant hill than to sit through one of his performances.

So I implore all the other annoyed t.v. viewers to do my bidding and kill this weakling before he procreates. Carrot Top needs to die. Go forth, friends! I know you can succeed. Good taste is on your side.

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