Euro 2004 Where the only league is the morons who go there
June 15, 2004

RANT #244: Sports & Activities
Summary: Survive this summer and dont act like a whore when England loses again.
Questionable Content This rant contains profanity or other offensive material.
Full Text:

This is it England, you really pissed me off now. No its not what you think; I am not droning madly about the frog eating Frenchs because England lost yet another game against them, Im pissed off with you fans. And to all you drunken arseholes supporting Manchester United, Birmingham City, other football teams all around the world, and all you big time manufacturing businesses listen up to. This goes out to the whole lot of you.

Now, dont get me wrong, I like what you are doing at the moment. Its constructive; its keeping you happy and stopping me giving my delete key wear for shitty e-mail. Its all cool. I dont mind it when you support football, I dont mind it when you go to football, I even dont mind it if you get drunk and cheer on your favourite team. But now everyone of you is going too fucking far over the boil. Its starting to piss me off and if it doesnt stop, I WILL become criminally insane and will start chopping up random motherfuckers with either hatchets or ridiculously oversized knives. It is too much for an evil genius to bear even though he just had his house turned upside down and painted fluorescent pink with green spots.

As far as I could see, everybody is celebrating about their national football team because they live in their country. Again, this is fine, but you go too far by fitting your car with flags, national anthem cornel bogey horns, and football themed bumper stickers. Going out and buying every football simulation game like rushing in pushing other people to get your hands on the first one. Everywhere I turn outside, theres another fucking England flag and Im sick of seeing them. Everywhere I go there is another moron playing his national anthem cornel bogey horn and I am sick of hearing them. And everybody is too busy simulating Euro 2004 with every game with a football in it and Im sick of it.  Im sick of you manufacturers going too far over the top with these products, and Im sick of you fans going out and egging them on. Have you ever stopped to consider that its like eleventy squillion degrees Celsius outside?! This is more than we get than on other summers. Go out to the beach and get a life.

What pisses me off even more is each an every fan will get happy when their team wins, but at the same time get upset when their team loses. And now its time for the SPANISH FUCKING INQUISITION, take England vs. France last night. Nobody caused any trouble there, but look at what happened back home. I saw it all because I couldnt give a flying fuck about Portugal yknow. Every lardarse drunk in their panties and every general English trouble maker started a fucking rabble against the frogs because these simple minded fools could only think of one reason why; England LOST! You guys take it too seriously. Its 24 primadonnas on a field running for a ball, its not to be taken seriously. Take your X-TREME devotion to the team, face paint, baseball bats to smack the other teams fans with, bets about first blood and shove it all up your arse. If you keep acting like this, you WILL get the pigs all over your arse and you will have to stay in prison for a week. Football is a sport, being a moron isnt. And for all you smartarses who say it is the national sport of our country; GROW UP DICKNOSE! ITS FOOTBALL AND IT WILL ALWAYS BE FOOTBALL, THERE IS NOTHING SPECIAL ABOUT FOOTBALL!!!

And I am probably going to get shot by other people for saying what I just did, well that only proves you dont accept the truth even if it crept up behind you and bit you on the arse. There, I tried to keep it simple for you footie-fags, and I kept it simple into little chunks for American viewers. I hate you, thats all.

Add a comment to this rant: 0 comments

Disclaimer | Email Us | Dance!
Text, images, design, and our groovy mojo are ©
return to the top of the page