Kraft, it apparently gets my noodle goin'
February 23, 2004

RANT #230: Misc.
FiFTHWiND
 
Summary: The cheesasaurus rex tells me that Kraft, Both a cheese company and major dabbler in instant macaroni, gets my noodle goin'...
 
Questionable Content This rant contains profanity or other offensive material.
 
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      For years, as far back as I can remember, Kraft has claimed to get my noodle goin'. Well, all these years I have taken their cheesy mascot's word for it, but I just recently started thinking about it... What exactly justifies getting ones noodle goin'.
      Well, I thought to myself, "Hmm, so Kraft gets my noodle goin' huh? Well, they certainly couldn't mean my *looks down*... No, of course not, its a cheese company for crying out loud. They must mean my brain! But how do I know if its goin'?"
      So, I immediately put together ideas... The first was obviously "perhaps they make one smarter", secondly, "perhaps it causes ones brain to move violently", and lastly, perhaps its total BS.
      After considering all of these ideas, I decided that it HAD to be making people smarter, it was time to test.

      MY TEST!
I asked a very sophisticated person to set up a problem in real life, one that is both challenging, and requires great brain power to solve. So, I attempted to solve the plausibility of Tom and Jerry. After watching episode after episode, animal cruelty case after animal cruelty case, I just could not figure out how those damned traps worked. SO! I proceeded to eat some macaroni and cheese. After another hour of Tom and Jerry, I had it, it was just a matter of quantum physics. Every single possibility HAPPENS... whenever there is a possibility, every single possible outcome occurs. They all happen in different dimensions, but they happen. And THAT is how Tom's crazy traps work.

      So! there you have it, Kraft macaroni and cheese in a nutshell, or perhaps a shell noodle. It charges one up intellectually and feeds the brain, or "noodle", thus "getting it goin'"
 


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