Music by two-year-olds
November 9, 2003

RANT #211: Arts & Entertainment
Druss
 
Summary: Or, why that bastard on pop idol disses everyone after a performance.
 
Questionable Content This rant contains profanity or other offensive material.
 
Full Text:

 
Yay! Whoopee! We have Christmas coming again with cheap gifts for the naughty and nice... wonderful. By the way, nobody should bother giving a shit if I get prezzies this year, not that anyone cares anyway. But if you hate Christmas, Santa, and Jesus, then I would recommend you listen to ICP's gem, "Santa's a fat Bitch"

Get to the fucking point already Druss!

Okay... Sorry for bringing Santas sleigh into the picture, but it's there pissing me off and I am thoroughly pissed off with having to look at it every day, and with it already building up for Christmas, it IS getting worse. You see there is this thing I have now and it is called e-jay. If you have not already heard of it, E-jay has had a reputation for manufacturing software to allow the client to create his own remixes. And now under the glorious rule and long tradition of the internet, people can now post their mixes onto the site, convert them to MP3 so others can enjoy them. However, there are TWO major flaws in the system.

ONE: No-one listens your shit weather you like it or not. People appear on the leader board and they are the most famous people in the world. You want your shot and submit some beats, what happens after a day? NOTHING! What happens after another day? NOTHING! What happens after a month? DONT COUNT ON IT! You submit something and then you are an average Joe. Is this what I got for Christmas, a vector based e-jay program with sixteen different tracks to put loops in so i can submit it on the internet just to show no one what a great e-jay I am? Oh, how fucking wonderful, Im fixing up the vibrations of tomorrow and no-body gives a shit lo listen to my crap.

TWO: Most people who do this e-jay thing are TONE FUCKING DEAF! THEY'RE CRAP! Does this mean I'm crap too you ask? No, I at least make some effort to make my shit sound nice! My shit is sitting in the middle of this two-year old-crap, which in turn is making everyone sick before they listen to my stuff. You want to know what I want? I want someone who will at least listen to my shit and see if they like it or not. I review everyone elses, but no one gives a shit about that dude over there wearing the bandanna over there, He's British. In fact, I have to make remixes of all the bad ones! SO EVERY E-JAY OUT THERE, STOP MAKING CRAP AWFUL REMIXES! THAT WILL SAVE ME THE TROUBLE OF ME HAVING TO REMIX ALL YOUR CRAP BEATS.

Look, if you do not mind doing so, then check my shit out. It isnt half bad anyway, and besides. You could try it out too; I bet you wont be half bad. Youll find it on e-jay.com
 


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