An Open Letter To The Citizens Of California
October 7, 2003

RANT #208: Society & Politics
Doctor Furious
Summary: That's it, I'm outta here.
Questionable Content This rant contains profanity or other offensive material.
Full Text:

To the residents of California:

Tonight, you have failed all of us Americans.  The Republicans decided that they wanted one of their boys to be governor instead of the Democrat who was actually elected, and told the residents of California, you lot of geniuses, that the Democrat should be removed essentially because he didn't do a good enough job cleaning up the mess the Republicans handed him.  The energy crisis?  That's due to the Republican's old friend Ken Lay gaming the market with Enron after the Republicans deregulated the energy industry.  The economy?  So sorry, but the Governor of California has little input on how Silicon Valley does business or how you idiots wet your pants over the dotcoms.

And you all fell for this load of crap, hook, line, and sinker.

You've removed the bad Big Bad Ol' Governor, and replaced him with an aging bobybuilder and screen prescence whose government credentials are the fact that the characters that he attempts to portray in his films tend to make things explode.  You've ousted your governor in favor of a guy who is facing allegations of sexual harassment, group sex and idolizing Hitler.

You're certainly getting what you deserve, you fuckheads.

Basically, you've just allowed the Republicans to make the state shell out TENS OF MILLIONS OF DOLLARS because IT DIDN'T HAVE ANY MONEY.  This is bank logic, people, and it has no place in the real world.

You've set some great precedents, too.  Your party not win an election?  Recall time!  The Democrats are already grumbling about recalling Schwarzenegger. More of the money you don't have down the drain.  California can't slide into the ocean fast enough.  Good riddance, I say.  Your damn state is way overrated anyway.

As for me, this is the last straw.  My fellow Americans, you're all determined to run yourselves to hell.  You tolerate election tampering, voter disenfranchisement, wars justified with lies, and suspension of basic civil liberties with a shrug, as long as you get your cable so you can watch "Survivor."  I don't want to spoil it for you, but an asshole is going to win.  Why?  Because it's reality TV, and everyone you see is an asshole.

I hate you all.  All of you fuckheads.  I'm out of here.  I'm going to go to Canada.  Not because Canadians are any better- like all memebers of the human race, they're fuckheads- but because there's about a tenth as much, and I can get away from them all.

Yes, I'll go live in Saskatchewan far away from anybody, and maybe the the removal of other people from my life will let me simmer down to a Doctor Crabby.  Who knows?

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