Kidnapping for Love
September 22, 2003

RANT #207: Arts & Entertainment
Summary: The new Limp Bizkit single has kidnapping and abuse, plus you can dance to it!
Full Text:

I'm not usually one to complain about offensive music. Half of what I listen to burns holes in most household surfaces. This time, though, pure rage compels me. Mr. Fred Durst of Limp Bizkit, I'm going to yell at you impotently from this orange and white box, only because your bodyguards effectively prevent me from kicking you square in the cajones.

(Call me a hypocrite and I'll kick 'em again. I'm warning you.)

I suppose it's a little pointless to criticize Limp Bizkit. I mean, really, they're Limp Bizkit. It's sort of like spray-painting "Catholic" across the Pope's amusing big hat. As much as I hate making musical judgements, they have, more recently, become a BAD band.

Their new album promises a change in musical style, though! And what a change. Girls, shell out some allowance for a mace (no, not "mace", a mace, the round ones, with the spikes)-- Mr. Durst is back, this time with 75% more sexual abuse!

The new single "Eat You Alive" is just awful (more on that later), but the video (now playing all over your national music television stations!) blew me away with sheer offensiveness. The plot is: it's nighttime, and Fred has dragged a woman into the deep, dark woods. He sits her down on a chair and then, with his band leering and smashing away, proceeds to scream in her face, douse her with water, and otherwise turn the scene into the worst nightmare of any female. (The Fred factor makes ordinary rape fear worse, somehow.)

Meanwhile, the scene flips to images of the cops, with bloodhounds and flashlights, earnestly tracking the kidnappers. They bellow humorously.

The "tender love song" Durst provides to his (white-clothed and wet, scared, thin, yet somehow coy and defiant) lady-friend contains the following gems:

"I just want to look at you, I just want to look at you all day...
There ain't nothing wrong, no. There aint nothing wrong with that."

Yes, Fred, I'm sorry, but there IS something wrong with that. Getting leered at is not a pleasant experience for a woman, and it can be downright threatening, demoralizing, and frightening. Especially since men who leer are often big and strong, and sometimes also approach and try things. There's a fine line between getting leered at and being checked out, I admit, but: fun fact!, most women can relate experiences that crossed the line and scared the crap out of them, at the very least. Ask your lady-friends and exercise your judgement.

Later, Durst describes what he'd love to do to his companion's panties, all the while screaming "I'd eat you alive!" interspersed with the sweetly flattering "Man you're so hot!" and "Your beauty... drives me insane." And, worst of all, these charming lyrics TURN THE KIDNAPPED WOMAN'S FEELINGS from hatred and fear to love! Amazing. Boys, you might want to take note of Durst's hot dating tips.

In fact, the woman is so moved that she refuses to point out Durst's direction of flight after the cops discover her. This looks like the beginning of a beautiful abusive relationship.


Im not anti-freedom-of-speech. Im just damn, damn frustrated with Mr. Durst for making this video, and I feel somewhat helpless about it.

I'm also not against songs that vent anger. And I'm not against songs that vent anger about a woman who's done ya wrong. (I'm sure you can think of a million of these, classic and otherwise.) My issue is that this video shows a fulfilment of a vicious, nasty, and misleading fantasy. How many psychopaths have fulfilled such fantasies by using unfair force, and unfair weapons, to put the women they admired (who might not even know they existed!) into hideous situations? Well, now they have an anthem. (Music to tie chicks up by!)

Women can be mean. Its true. Ill be the first to admit that women are often nastier and more damaging to each other, and to men, than men are. Im not downgrading your pain. Women do, though, have to contend with a few inequalities that frustrate ME a whole lot. Want me to bitch about 'em? Too bad, it's my rant. These include:

1. Not being allowed to go outside at night for a walk, no matter how damn much you need to or want to.

2. Avoiding lots of places at night, at least while alone.

3. Facing the fear of rape, which isnt just sex abuse, its internal-ogran-destroying, fertility-impairing, and other pleasant things.

4. Bypassing this fear, and learning to use caution, to lead a normal life. Also, overcoming harassment, which (so they say) strikes one in four. And Id argue that more than that have been pinched, poked, grabbed, shoved, yelled at, chased, and have watched strange men pour things into their drinks.

Finally, if she don't want you, just get over it, kiddo. Maybe she thinks she's too good for you, as Durst whines in the song. Maybe she is, maybe she isn't. Maybe she's a snobby bitch. The hard fact is, you need to move on. Take yourself out for a comforting milkshake. Find a nice lady who likes you; they exist, boys, and i'm sick of you trailing after evil girls like blind puppydogs... but that's another rant for another rant-time. Give yourself a hug.

Maybe also firing your lead singer is a smart course of action.

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