June 30, 2003

RANT #192: Society & Politics
Summary: What you do when you move to the UK or another English speaking country
Questionable Content This rant contains profanity or other offensive material.
Full Text:

It was a beautiful day, and I was out shopping for stuff. (It makes faggats happy ya know) And I was choosing from the red or green sauce.
(You know, huge purchasing decision there! the colour of sauce) Then this foreign person with 12 million children hanging off of it comes up to me and says:

Augh Nanga Unga Yip Yu Nowaah!

I had no clue what he was on about cause I don't speak moerog or whatever the fuck his language is! But I am in a good mood, because shopping makes bastards happy. I look at the dude and say: "can you speak English, I'm English. Understand?"

And he replies:
"Auga NAAAAA, Yu yippi aikr jehw wim whia w shu Nin gwnfa" And getting pissed off at me!

20 seconds ago, I was a happy shopping bastard and now I am thinking if this guy opens his mouth other than to speak ENGLISH! Then I am going to start ramming his litter of children down his trap-hole!

I am not bashing culture here! I am really not, but this is merely a dose of common fucking sense!

I have nothing against foreigners in common but a majority of these arseholes don't learn the language! Because when you move to an English speaking country, you should have the common fucking courtesy to speak the native fucking language! And our society puts up with it, even encourages it! "We will buy you a house, we will give you a car, and we will kill somebody to give you a job. Don't know the language? NO PROBLEM! We will spend a lot of money to teach everyone else YOUR LANGUAGE!"

I say FUCK 'EM!

I think the reason why they are doing this is because this is to make them fell at home. But this incident has gone way the fuck too far!

I suppose the only way to communicate with these morons is to whip out a little book and start babbling back to them! "Mi Sakki Sakki Mong Long Dine Chip Chip" Or sound like a damn Pikachu getting fucked up its electronic arse.

Listen you foreign language-hogging motherfuckers if you are reading this right now, why don't I move to the republic of Grehnroietwat or wherever the fuck you are from and ask the republic for a house? A car? And shoot at a poor SOB for a job? And ask for my rights for speaking my language? And ask everyone else to learn my language? 'cause now I feel I am at my fucking home?

SHIT NO! They'd probably say "somebody shoot that babbling motherfucker in the head and shut him up" and thats what they might do anyway!

So as far as I care, you can walk around babbling like a fucking idiot! Tough shit for you! Some mental officials find you and think you are a retard and will more than likely find you and lock you in a nut house with stupid fucking catholic nuts who cannot even count up to George Bush's or OJ Simpsons IQ.

But thats not going to happen because like many other people, we are supposed to mix together and socialize. But if some hideous orangutan penis examiner comes up and starts gibbering like a retarded psycho, you would want to at least know what he is saying. I mean, forget he looks like a retard and understand what he is trying to say!

We are using millions of trees every year to print out instructions on "how to use a pen (the complete volume collection)" In English, French, Spanish, German, Korean, Central American, Simplified and traditional fucking Chinese! What is the point in that? I mean what has it got in there? Lets see... Oh wait, I forgot: I KNOW how to use a pen! And if you are that stupid to not know how to use a pen, you aren't going to hold a pen long enough anyway! Let alone a house, a car or a fucking job!

The only thing an employee should know how to say is "FUCK OFF!" Learn how to say FUCK OFF in twelve different languages and you have a job!

A Shotgun is a pretty universal thing, and if I run into any more of these idiots, the last word they will hear is ORWELL!

"Auga nag" "ORWELL!" BANG!

I am not asking people to forget their languages and learn English! FUCK NO! I like a lot of the languages! even know a little of each. But please, if you move to a country that speaks English, LEARN IT!

Add a comment to this rant: 0 comments

Disclaimer | Email Us | Dance!
Text, images, design, and our groovy mojo are ©
return to the top of the page